“…’Cause the sun mashes my heart with happiness so much,
I want to dance before 8 o’clock in the morning while the coffee is on the stove.” (Greta – Coffee Addict)
I am sure I will be sharing more and more about myself as I continue on with this blog. Actually, I’m going to have to restrain myself to not just go word crazy and try to reveal EVERYTHING in one blow. Patience! Pacing! Breeeeattheeee. I thought I’d just begin with a general ‘down low’ on who I am (like that is a simple concept), my background, and a bit more of why I’m here.
I’m a gal in her mid twenties living in Canada. I graduated from college with a diploma in Musical Theatre, but after a couple years of performing, my passion for performing began to extinguish and I found myself unknowingly entering a lost little vortex. I went traveling through Asia for half a year and then studied what I thought was my new passion – Human Nutrition – in University for about a year and a half. All the while struggling with a very serious eating disorder. I’m on quite a journey, y’all.
We are all on a journey. A long…slow journey.
For now all you need to know is that I, too, like so many others, never in their wildest dreams would have ever imagined myself attaining such an illness and cannot understand how I could “let” it take so many years out of my life. In 2013 I entered an in-patient hospital program and after 6 months of living inside a hospital gaining weight, I left the hospital doors and immediately began to tip toe back towards my safety net. I swore I’d never relapse. “Me? Relapse? That will NEVER happen.” And yet here I am, two years later, having lost half the weight that I gained inside the program, working hard towards recovery. Real recovery.
I am also back in school. Over the past few years, through my struggles and as I regained health again, my passion for theatre came bounding back with a VENGEANCE. I know now, 200% that I want…NEED… to act. I am currently in a wonderful, prestigious and very intense classical acting conservatory and could not think of anywhere I’d rather be. Yes, it was a struggle to return to school as a “mature” student, but everyone is on their own journey and I know that I am now dedicating myself fully to become the best damn actor I can be. So I can get my dream. And I will get it.
My intention is not to make this completely an “eating disorder recovery” blog. There is so much more to me and my life and my story, like NATURE and ARTS and ECO FRIENDLY LIVING and CREATING CRAZY THINGS IN THE KITCHEN to clean your house and your body. However, I am currently working towards recovery and as many of you know, this does take up a good portion of my life. Not to mention, my road to recovery is what is leading me to all my discoveries and learnings about life and humanity in general. And THESE are the things I really want to share with you. I would like to invite you into my journey in recovery, my struggles to work with a meal plan and trying to figuring out this damn block that seems so freakin’ resistant to weight gain. I’ve been working with a team of wonderful supporters and with their help have learned more than I ever thought possible and have found myself in the most healthy psychological place that I have ever been. Now if I could just figure out that block and get my body back to health…
I’m so excited to share my learnings and discoveries, inspirations and motivations, smiles and tears and frustrations and confusions with all of you! So please, come and take a seat. I saved it for you.
Not a hugely exciting week. But I did get a few nice things…