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Category: Thinking Out Loud

A Few Simple Words

The week before last, I had my wallet stolen (or lost? …who can ever be sure). This was the second time this happened in three months. I had just taken out cash, so yeah, in addition to everything else, I lost 100+ dollars.  I have no idea what happened, and I’m not going to spend any more time trying to rationalize it or retrace my steps. And I’m not going to spend any more…

Life, Coffee and Fatalism

A few new things have happened recently. This is my attempt to stream some of my thoughts together.   Dan and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. Actually, it was on Valentines Day. Yeah, how cliche is that? Believe me, it was neither of our intentions for it to happen this way. There was a conversation that needed to happen, though it was atleast my expectation to let the little holiday pass before delving…

Mind Dump: Rhyme Zone

It’s been a while since my last rhyme, I thought that it was time To loosen up my pencil grip and let some verses chime Sometimes ‘prose’ just will not do, to get your thoughts out loud Especially when your brain is kind of chillin’ on a cloud Life is pretty smooth right now, I’m doing what I love My corset, heels and skirt are tough, but give my boobs a shove Not sure if it…

Thinking Out Loud: Taking a Look Back

Gah. This truly is going to be some thinking out loud.  Spontaneous vulnerability makes my fingers shake. The other day I began thinking of my upcoming summer and how I should spend it. You see, I actually have what one would consider a “summer,” as my theatre conservatory gets put on hold until September.  So although I could be involved in other acting projects, I do not have a main job keeping me in place. As I got…

Thinking Out Loud: Moving Gently into a New Year

Well, the end of another year is upon us.  Actually – no – that sounds too sad.  Rephrase. A new year is just about to begin. Better. I do not feel the need, or desire, to write a post about New Years Resolutions. I know it will be a hot topic in the blog-o-sphere in the next few days, not to mention surfacing the cover of every paper and magazine. This is not to say I…

Today I am grateful for

Time.  Extra time given for spending on the mat. Rehearsal. Work. Productivity. Closed laptops and open pages Sitting.  Just sitting.  Even for a few moments. Theatre.  And its ability to make someone smile. The genuine love and care of seniors. The innocence and smiles of children. Friends who just know. Mothers. Who love you and stand by you no matter what. Feeling cozy from head to toe.   Thinking these happy thoughts out loud with Amanda. What is making you…

Mind Dump: Feelings, Thoughts, Wishes

For anyone who journals, do you ever just write out a “mind dump?”  Basically – a stream of consciousness listing of every thought or feeling that is taking up space in your brain at that very moment.  Julia Cameron’s “morning pages,” are basically a version of this. I’ve decided to take mine to the inter webs this morning. Thank you, Amanda, for inviting me to be so out loud with my rambles…

Reaching for Control Amidst a Multitude of Passions

Goodmorning! From me, my couch, and my steaming bowl of pumpkin oats…. Crock pot pumpkin-apple steel cut oats I seem to always have a lot going through my mind. My thoughts seem to be constantly racing from one to another…to another…to another. Plans. Ideas. Plans. Ideas.  One hardly has a chance of fully developing before a new one comes and pushes it aside. Lucky for me, this little notion puts me in great…

Thinking out loud: “Rewards” and Recovery

The other day someone I love – who is recovering from an alcohol addiction – told me that they had a drink on the weekend.  It had been a solid amount of time since their last drink, they were feeling safe and in control, so they thought they’d reward themselves with one drink. They thought it would be a way to acknowledge the feat they had just over come. They thought it would feel nice…a desirable…

Selfish, or Confident?

As I work on my recovery, my challenge is to take care of myself. To put myself, and my needs, first. To me, this notion still makes me cringe.  Because to me, this screams “selfish!!!!” I have always believed that I must put others’ needs and emotions before my own. I’ve lived off the notion that, “as long as they are okay… everything is good.” But where did this get me? Crumbled…

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