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2017: My Year In Review

2017: My Year In Review

A part of me feels really nervous to write this post.

I think in part, because there’s simply so much to look back on. So much to realize happened and changed all within one single year.  I still can’t believe half the events of this year were all within the happenings of 2017

2017…. I think I have to say… was a good year. 

Its been up and down, for sure. But there have been moments where I have found myself happier than I think I have ever been. There’s always happy memories, but I’m talking about this deep, rooted, in-the-core feeling of happiness. Of having….landed. 

Another hesitation I’ve had in writing this post is that I’ve been nervous to say this very thing out loud: “I’ve been happy.”

If I say it, will I ruin it?! 

Will people still care, if they think I’m happy?

These last couple of months especially have found me in a new place of grounding. A sense of finally having come to a place that I’ve been waiting for so long to be. Sure… I haven’t come close to reaching my goals and am still waiting for my dreams to take off. Sure there are many days where I am unhappy at my day job and still have highs and lows of anxiety throughout a week. Sure I still have physical/stomach discomforts that are beyond frustrating. But. I have a place where I actually feel at home. I live with someone that makes me inexplicably happy. And I’m going after what makes my soul fly. My dream.  

I think these are three things in the base of maslow’s hierarchy we all need in order to feel that underlying feeling of peace

Let’s break down this year a bit more

 

Graduation 

 

In April, I graduated from my theatre program. A three year long achievement. I played a part that I would never have dreamt of playing and was in love with every moment of it. I graduated having received a bursary that I worked hard for and felt proud of what I had achieved.

 

Employment

 

I was able to get a job at a restaurant that I was really happy with. It was the job that I wanted, and although my excitement for each shift has now definitely wained, it still holds true that it is the best “jo job” I could have. It allows for a schedule that lets me get to my auditions. I’m very lucky in this regard. 

 

A Summer of Hard Work

 

I worked very, very hard upon graduating to try and get my career going. Not with the success I was hoping for, unfortunately, but I was my own manager and submitted myself to auditions each and every day. It was very disappointing to not be granted many of the auditions I hoped to get – a quick realization of the impossibility of this industry – but I kept submitting and kept trying. 

continually resetting my goals and prioritizing my time 

 

Securing an Agent

 

Finally. After all my hard work and multiple, multiple submissions, I was finally contacted by an agent who had seen some of my work on film and asked me to come in to meet him. I felt in my core it was a good match and so signed the contract. Since then, my world has shifted dramatically. I am no longer my own manager – which is something that has been surprisingly difficult to adjust to. I’ve learned that not only am I so used to doing all my own work and being fully in control of my career, but that I like that. Now, this does not mean I regret signing with my agent. Absolutely not. I have someone who is managing my auditions and is getting me in front of casting directors I couldn’t get to on my own. On a good week, my agent sends me out for 2-3 auditions, and on these weeks, I’ve felt happier than I ever have. I have not booked anything big, but the simple act of going out to auditions puts me on such a high. My life routine has become something completely new as I have to be ready to receive an audition the night before and then commute my way across the city. But I’m so grateful to be doing so. It has really showed me that I’m really not in this for the money or any other external factor. Yes that cheque when I get my first commercial will be lovely, but I just want to be seen doing what I love. I simply thrive off this feeling of being a working, auditioning actor. It’s what I’ve been waiting for for so long. I simply hope that my agent keeps having faith in me so that I continue to be sent out for auditions in the new year. And that one day soon, someone sees that something I’m waiting for them to see….

 

A New Home

 

I moved into a new home, one that is both mine and Dan’s. I feel so happy to be living with Dan. Of course there are little quibbles that scratch at me under the surface (I never thought I’d be the girl who says, “….um, can you please put the seat down?”) but I know that when I’m feeling down or anxious, all it takes is to be home with Dan to make those feelings go away. My routines have changed. All the things I did on my “own time” are now being set aside for time with others. This means I’m not doing as many things like blogging, but after many years of this not being the case, I am very happy to give over the time. 

I have also been able to create a place that makes me feel happy. Hygge. Thanks in part to the surprising tid bits I took from The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I learned how to get rid of many things from my past in a way that has left me feeling cleansed, refreshed, and with a great sense of gratitude for all that they did for me. I thanked them. By learning how to ask, “does this spark joy?” I’ve streamlined the things that I own and have learned how to give them each a home where they belong. Like Kondo promises, by streamlining my home, I feel more creative and open to do the things that align with who I am. 

my cozy corner

Recovery

 

I don’t talk about recovery much on this blog. A large part being because I’ve found that surrounding my life with my other passions and interests has actually been a huge advocate to leaving my world of disordered eating and mental illness. I still have a ways to come. Physically I am not at a place of health I need to be and I have a lot of worries I keep well inside. But. I do believe this year has been the best year for my recovery yet. Ever since my summer at home, I’ve over come many of the food fears I once had, and there are very few, if any, foods that feel “off limits.” I am very grateful for that summer. Living with Dan has been an incredible drive, as enjoying good food and memories with him – and others – has become far more important to me than my own “preferences.” I feel more secure around food choices than I have in years; I feel more “okay” with rest than I have in years; I’ve re-realized my beautiful passion for movement, but have re-learned that this can mean moving my body in fluid ways, like yoga, swimming, walking and most powerfully, dance. I’m slowly but surely learning the wonders of actually trusting my body. That, above all, is the most freeing, mesmerizing feeling. I still get *a lot* of uncomfortable feelings when I think I’ve eaten more than I usually do or I am put out of my routine, but, I’ve learned that I have these “rocks” that I can go to that will distract me from these feelings: my acting, time with dan, family, baking, and making gifts for others. 

and lattes… always lattes

Family

 

I’m in love.

Dan’s great ( πŸ˜‰ )… but the real love of my life came to me this year in the form of my beautiful new baby niece, Chloe.  Being at home with my family this year at Christmas was a powerful reminder of what matters. Time with family and being there for those you love. This will always win over my own personal discomforts, routines, expectations, struggles, worries or fears. 

Can you tell we had both just woken up…?

So.

2017 was a year of change and growth. Growth and progress – albeit slow progress – in my career; a welcomed shift in routine and a change in priorities; a feeling of maturity and long awaited comfort; and a settling into what feels like the person I’m supposed to be.

No resolutions, but similar to what I said in my words for last year, my simple hope for next year is to continue to persevere. To continue to feel propelled in my career and just not stop.  And, to continue striving for a feeling of connection with others, comfort and simplicity at home, and fulfillment in the areas of my life that make me happy.

β€œMy wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are. To astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.” – Maya Angelou

Happy New Year to you all, and thank you for being such a special part of my life. Be safe tonight, and have fun!

2017: My Year In Review. Graduation, employment, getting an agent, family, recovery and all around coming to a place of my own #happynewyears #newyears2017 Click To Tweet

Tell me,

What would you like to manifest for yourself in 2018?

What are you most proud of from this year? 

 

 

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42 COMMENTS

  1. Alyssa | 31st Dec 17

    your niece is so adorable cora. so proud of the growth you had in 2017, especially within your recovery journey! i hopee you have a fun NYE. I’m hoping to manifest more growth in 2018 and to let go of fear, hoping to also be more mindful!
    Alyssa recently posted…My Favorite Posts From 2017My Profile

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Being mindful and acting without fear are huge in my hopes as well. Thank you for your support Alyssa – here’s to 2018!

  2. Joseph N. | 31st Dec 17

    Hi, Cora.

    First of all, I want to greet you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! “Will people still care, if they think I’m happy?” People who truly love you will care for you unconditionally. So don’t sweat it if they don’t, at least you know who are the genuine ones.

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Absolutely. Thank you Joseph :). Happy New Year to you!

  3. Colleen | 31st Dec 17

    Happy New Year, Cora! What a year you have had! You have moved from one stage to another in your life (not without the bumps and rocks!) and it is wonderful to know that you have come to a place of happiness and hygge.
    For myself, in 2018, I hope to be more intentional about doing the things that bring me joy and letting go of old hurts and old thinking that hold me back.
    Love to you and Dan. Here’s to a stellar 2018!

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      That’s a continual goal I think we all need to give ourselves. I hope 2018 brings you much letting go and focusing on the things that spark joy in you. Happy New Year to you!! Lots of love.

  4. Jamie@TheMomGene | 31st Dec 17

    Ohhh boy I love this last year for you. Fruition is the word that comes to mind. You got to see all the hard work in all the areas come to fruition. Some are still ripening…but that feels normal, the natural progression of life. Here’s my word for 2018: balance. That should be my word from here on out.

    P.S. I want to see more pictures of your new place!

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Balance. A constant goal isn’t it? Like a teeter totter… once you find it, for that beautiful moment, you know it will soon sway to one side or the other once again.

      I feel like my year was the “beginnings” or fruition. But, I’d rather have a beginning than not. So I’ll take it.

  5. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar | 31st Dec 17

    I hear ya. 2017’s felt like it’s been long. I love that graduation photo of your classmates! Do you still keep in touch with many of the people you got to know in school?
    Oh my gosh. We’ve both joined the ranks of women who have to bug their guys about putting the toilet seat down. It’s a struggle.
    I’m sooooo excited you got an agent this year. That’s a huge step toward your goals! I think you’re so brave the way you’re putting yourself out there for your career.
    Happy New Year, Cora!
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…Caterpillar Crawl: December 2017My Profile

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      I don’t keep in touch with many of them, no, but still little bits here and there and always very excited when we do see each other. I’ve also kind of learned though that its sometimes best to not always be hearing what your classmates are doing in this industry….

      Thanks Joyce. May 2018 be filled with more not falling in toilet bowls πŸ™‚

  6. Kristy from Southern In Law | 31st Dec 17

    What a jam packed year you’ve had!

    I am sure 2018 is going to be an exciting adventure of a year for you! How awesome that you’ve got an agent! Way to go, girl!
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Recent Things: Christmas Celebrations and Summer SoakingMy Profile

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Thanks Kristy. Here’s hoping good things for 2018.

  7. Casey the College Celiac | 31st Dec 17

    YOU GO GIRL!!! And, this year was insane for me. I graduated from college, had my first full time job, started grad school, moved away from home, lived in Minnesota for the first time, had gum graft surgery, taught my first college class, and our dog passed away. Lots of highs and lows! For 2018, I want to focus on embracing “discomfort” both in terms of putting myself out there, embracing new opportunities and surprises (for better or for worse) and accepting that being a grad student with chronic illnesses is freakin’ hard sometimes…but that the pain is all growing pains <3
    Casey the College Celiac recently posted…Crunchy Caramel Apple Energy Balls (Gluten Free, Vegan)My Profile

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Yup. Your 2017 was insane. So…

      How you gonna top it next year? πŸ˜‰

      Cant wait to see you as you embrace these new challenges and continue to put fear behind you and just GO FOR IT.

  8. Susie @ Suzlyfe | 1st Jan 18

    I love love love you. So much. I could wax poetic, but im going to leave it there.

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Right back at you <3

  9. Misti | 1st Jan 18

    It’s awesome that you made so much progress this year on you goals! Also in your…just your self-acceptance and love, I guess are the words I’m looking for. You seem to have embraced who you are as a person and come to love where you are in life, all while looking towards your goals for the future. Happy New Year!

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Thank you so much Misti. I think my greatest achievement is what cant be seen on the outside to others – a shift in confidence and grounding and inner “okayness.” Continual work but one that I noticed more in myself this year. All my best to you at this start of a new year!

  10. Emily Swanson | 1st Jan 18

    I have seen you overcome so many food fears this year Cora, and I literally leave your blog craving all the good nourishing soul filling foods like cinnamon buns and scones. I have LOVED seeing you blossom as an actress; and the idea of auditioning, though it terrifies me, is so exciting to you, which I love to see. I have a sister who loves acting, especially musicals, and I think if God wills, maybe she will have a career that goes along with music and acting some day! πŸ™‚

    And the concept of Hygge and just simplifying and cozzying up makes me so happy too. πŸ™‚ I’ve been simplifying and learning to let go of so many parts of my past, especially old clothes that didn’t fit me, and there is no more freeing feeling when it comes to recovery especially. HAPPY NEW YEAR! BIG VIRTUAL HUG TO YOU!
    Emily Swanson recently posted…Comment on 2017 Thoughts: A Year of FREEDOM! (Year in Review) by KatMy Profile

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      Thank you dearest emily. I think we both grew, saw and learned a great deal about ourselves this year. Letting go is a mesmerizing feeling. I think it only comes to us when we are truly ready. All my best to you at the start of this me a year. May you continue to strive for hygge, simplicity, nourishment and comfort in your every day <3

  11. Ellie Pell | 1st Jan 18

    This post is so very empowering Cora. You did so much, but also let yourself just be. I enjoyed reading about how you take yourself on dates and find time to just sit outside with that Mcdonalds coffee πŸ˜‰ I often felt we were doing those things side-by-side.
    Happy New Year babe <3
    Ellie Pell recently posted…Showing UpMy Profile

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      I hope we were! And that one day we will be able to in person πŸ™‚

      All my best to you at the start of this new year – let your adventures begin!!!

  12. Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table | 1st Jan 18

    That’s a HUGE year! I’m sure 2018 will hold even ore greatness. Cheers!
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…French Green Lentil Detox SaladMy Profile

    • Cora | 4th Jan 18

      And same to you Laura! All my best to you and Vegas as you begin a new year of adventures!

  13. Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy | 2nd Jan 18

    Oh Cora, this post has me grinning from ear to ear! I am so elated for you and where you are now, from where you have come. Having an agent and getting auditions are just the beginning for you, I’m sure. And I’m so glad being with Dan has been positive in so many ways. Loss of words over this post but have loved following along your journey and continuing to!

    • Cora | 5th Jan 18

      Thank you Sarah πŸ™‚

  14. Evangeline | 2nd Jan 18

    What a FULL year, friend! It’s wonderful to look back and acknowledge the ups and downs and periods of growth from the past year. The idea of “settling into what feels like the person I’m supposed to be” makes so much sense. I get the feeling (mostly from cliched quotes, inspirational mantras, and such) that each year is supposed to be better than the last, but I like thinking of it more in the way you described. Each year working toward becoming more genuine, more settled, more authentic, not necessarily more successful, ‘happy’, comfy (although those things are nice to work toward too).

    Love seeing that you enjoyed lots of family time and restful mornings. And your niece melts my heart. Best, best wishes as you embrace the new year.
    Evangeline recently posted…Easy, functional meal ideas for when you’re busy.My Profile

    • Cora | 5th Jan 18

      Exactly. I’m learning that what actually feels the best is not my outer achievements (they give their high for such a short term) but the rooted feeling of noticing a difference INSIDE yourself. Because those achievements aren’t short lived.

      Here’s to you and all the things you want for yourself to be happy <3

  15. Naomi @ Naomi Why: Roots | 2nd Jan 18

    What a year! Going off of what Vangie said, I often think about each year getting better as each year becoming progressively more exciting, but your description of this past year illustrates what I think “getting better” really means: becoming more grounded, more comfortable in your own skin, more people to love (like your new niece. Can I say again that she’s absolutely adorable?). Life isn’t all about accomplishments, but you’ve accomplished so much, both in your school/professional life and in your life overall. Happy New Year!
    Naomi @ Naomi Why: Roots recently posted…One YearMy Profile

    • Cora | 5th Jan 18

      And like what I said to vangie, what I’m learning is that the accomplishments that truly feel the best are the rooted changes you feel within yourself. Not the outer successes – those only give you that high for such a short time.

      Here’s to you and finding more inner comfort and peace this year and each year to come!

  16. danielle | 3rd Jan 18

    What a rich and rewarding year you’ve had! So many changes and achievements and so much growth.. like a butterfly you are getting wings.
    My words for 2018: faith, love, positive, change, trust, believe!
    2017 made me realize that i have never been a stranger to stress or adversity or mega physical challenges. 2018 I will embrace and welcome positive changes, have faith and love in my heart, and always remember to have my intentions based from love. to come from love is my goal of 2018.

  17. Cora | 5th Jan 18

    I need to keep “believe” in my repertoire.

    Those are beautiful goals. For a beautiful soul. You improve the lives of everyone you meet, Danielle. Here’s to YOU and finding more inner peace, comfort and pride in all that you do <3

  18. Kat | 6th Jan 18

    You absolutely CRUSHED 2017 and I have no doubts that you will continue that into 2018 and beyond. The growth you have experienced in just one year alone blows me away – and further motivates and inspires me to do and be more this year!
    My hope for 2018 for myself personally is just to continue stepping out in faith in the direction God is leading me. I’ve been held back so long by insecurities and fears – and it frustrates me when I see just how much of my life I have wasted on the sidelines, especially when God has been trying to shove me into the game for so long! [wow – can you tell I’m watching sports right now with all the sports analogies? πŸ˜‰ ] I’m just tired of watching the world pass me by, tired of letting my insecurities rule, tired of letting my time get away from me. God put me here for a purpose – I want to find it, share it and thrive in it!

    • Cora | 12th Jan 18

      I understand that feeling of frustration – of having “wasted” so much of your life. I get it. I feel it a lot. But I have to try and continue to tell myself that my past is/was there for a reason, and that everything that I’ve done has been for a reason to get me to where I’m supposed to be. It’s hard to believe sometimes, but what’s the alternative?

      That being said, this past is also sparking some new fierce motivation in you. Maybe that’s what it was supposed to do. At this time. So use that motivation, throw away all those insecurities and fears and GO FOR IT GIRL. I’m excited to continue cheering you on and see what this year gives you <3

  19. Hannah | 7th Jan 18

    What a lot of change you’ve packed into one year! To find your grounded, happy place in the midst of everything is truly an accomplishment.

    • Cora | 12th Jan 18

      I found it… though it will come and go. But knowing it was there means I know what it feels like. I think this could be better than any external achievement.

  20. chasetheredgrape | 7th Jan 18

    The Cora of Jan 2018 and the Cora of Jan 2017 could not be more different. You have achieved so much this year I am so surprised this post wasn’t 3 times longer! The strength you have gained, the mindset you have developed and the peace you have achieved are elements to be so proud of. Yes we all have ways to grow, improve and develop but I am glad you have given your achievements a moment to shine.
    Who knows what the year holds…. But that’s the beauty of it! Happy new year lovely.

    • Cora | 12th Jan 18

      I’m glad I gave them a time to shine, too, as I’m already learning these feelings of strength and peace will not always be with me and will come and go. They seem to have vanished currently, but having written this and knowing I did achieve those feelings last year means I know what they are and that I can get there again. I hope this Cora of 2017 that I portrayed here can have the strength to stay with me.

  21. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 8th Jan 18

    Wow, I knew you had a year of change with the agent, the move, the summer at home, but man oh man did you have a year. I can say I know there were rough parts and struggles along the way, but your progress is astounding. Truly. Please give yourself a giant pat on the bag and a great big hug because you deserve it.

    Oh and 2017 was also the year you met me in person. Can’t wait to do it again in 2018.

    Happy New Year!
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Week in Review: The Recap Edition (#114)My Profile

    • Cora | 12th Jan 18

      And that was one of my biggest hi lights!!

  22. Kaylee | 10th Jan 18

    Happy happy new year Cora dear! So glad to hear that you’ve found peace in your home now despite how rocky the journey was to find the place. It’s been amazing to see how much you’ve grown over the past year just through your posts and pictures and words and thoughts. I know you are constantly giving yourself a hard time for your setbacks but it’s awesome to hear that you see just how much you have become truer to yourself. You are finally giving yourself the credit you deserve. I think that in itself shows how much you’ve grown too.
    Also want to thank you for helping me grow as a person too! The advice, the empathy, the way your posts make me think and reflect on my own life.

    • Cora | 12th Jan 18

      Ah, Kaylee. It’s been such a pleasure getting to “know you,” even more so last year. Thank you for your constant support, your sharing, and all our bonding over similar thoughts/feelings/passions/desires.

      I did find a lot of peace last year. But that doesn’t mean it will always be with me. It has already come and gone and the nasty voices have reared their heads back in, but, at least by writing this, I know it was once achieved. And that I did take a step up toward where I want to be. So that when I fall down again, I know there is place I can work back toward. Wishing you all my love and support as this new year starts for you. Can’t wait to keep up and stay in touch through it all!

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