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Cora… You Need To Stop.

I need to stop. 

I need to slow down. 

I need to stop pushing myself; putting so much pressure on myself. 

I’m running myself to the ground in the effort to eliminate space. 

I’m filling every gap of time with

Emails

Screens

Scrolling

Clicking

Submitting

So much friggen scrolling and clicking.

I’m not looking out, I’m only ever looking down.

I’m running at full speed

Ramped up and grasping on to the promise that if I just keep going I won’t fall.

I need to stop. 

I need to let soft music take me down. 

I need to actually taste the hot tea, and feel the warmth of the mug in my hands.

I need to smile and believe that things will be okay. 

I need to stop pushing. Because what ever comes when it is being pushed? 

I need to remember that if I do not get everything “now” it does not mean I disappear. I can still be there, quietly confident, believing and knowing that my path is my path. My journey is my journey. 

 

stop

In continuation of last friday’s post, I’m letting fear get the best of me. I’m letting my subconscious habit of putting pressure on myself completely take me away from myself. I’m running into the ground pressuring myself to have employment. To race the ticking clock before it leaves me feeling like a failure. I’m focusing on quantity over quality… completely and utterly forgetting about my values, my goals, and my belief in the work  I actually want to do. 

I had coffee with a mentor/friend/teacher this week. Without even knowing my current state…he reminded me that it’s okay to wait for that job you actually want. It’s okay to stand up for and believe in your highest potential. You don’t have to take every little opportunity that comes your way just so you can “be doing something.” We all just think we need to be DOING something…ALL THE TIME… like that is the only “stamp of approval” in this world of ours. Hell if you choose to work extra shifts at McDonalds, rather than take that mediocre low-grade gig that will really just make you feel like shit, just so you can save up money to be able to do what you actually WANT to do when the time comes, then that is you protecting yourself. That is you believing in yourself. 

Years ago, I took every job and gig that came my way. Because I thought that’s what I had to do. I thought that’s what was going to make me feel – and appear – successful. There was just no other option, in my mind. But I was miserable in 9 out of 10 of these jobs. I was embarrassed. I knew I was better. And so my passion died. Of course it did. I was not feeding it with any pride or with the inner confidence I had in myself. 

So I need to take a friggen step back, Cora. 

I need to make a list of what is important and what to let go. What helps, and what does not. 

I need to put down the damn phone. Stop the emails. Remember what it feels like to taste my tea and chocolate. Breathe. PICK UP A BOOK. Read something with real pages, with the radio on. Walk the halls with my head actually up, feeling my feet on my floor, confident that there’s a bad ass diva hidden quietly inside my gentle exterior. 

I need to stop. 

I need to breathe. 

I need to remember. 

Stop putting pressure on yourself. Stop running yourself into the ground. Just stop, and believe… Click To Tweet

I’m thinking out loud. 

Tell me,

Have you ever had to tell yourself to ‘stop’?

 

 

33 COMMENTS

  1. Susie @ Suzlyfe | 30th Mar 17

    You need…. a HUG. You need… to give yourself grace. But mostly, you need a hug.
    HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…Ten Things Thursday (and A Freaking Happy Birthday)My Profile

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      Thanks Suz <3

  2. Jamie@TheMomGene | 30th Mar 17

    Read “The Man Who Was Ove”. It will restore your faith in humanity while also metaphorically snuggling up to you with that mug of tea.

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      Looking it up.

  3. Kat | 30th Mar 17

    THIS. All of it.
    I get it girl – I really, really do. I understand your passion, your love and your drive. I also understand your insecurity, your fears and your doubts. What YOU don’t understand? Is that it’s all going to work out in the end because you are one strong, brave, motivated, passionate chick – and you’ve GOT this. Want to know how I know that? Because I’ve seen your growth! You have come so, so far to becoming more intune with yourself and your needs – this post is the perfect example of that.
    So take that breath, sip that tea and taste that chocolate.
    You ARE worthy of it. All of it. <3
    Kat recently posted…Currently – March 2017My Profile

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      Thank you kat. I just need to let myself have a little more fairth.

  4. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 30th Mar 17

    I think you may have found what you need to focus on in Monday’s WIR. It’s not too late in the week to stop and do a little self care. Blows kiss.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Currently: March 2017My Profile

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      Mmmhmm. You nailed it.

  5. Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy | 30th Mar 17

    It is difficult to just let go of expectations and strong desires and take some breaths, but I often find that when I’m not so worried or concerned about something, things open up. It’s magical, really. The world has a way of working like that. Just breathe. Everything will work out, I truly believe in this mantra.
    Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy recently posted…If You’re Hungry, Eat!My Profile

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      Thats exactly it, sarah. Things dont come when you push. They happen when you let go.

  6. Evangeline | 30th Mar 17

    I’ve actually in the process of telling myself to stop and slow this very week. It’s slow work though. There seems to be two parts of me competing for a voice. The logical, gentle part that reminds me I need to slow down and chilll and the part that’s running a hundred miles an hour…on a hamster wheel, trying to get somewhere but flying off the wheel instead. I’ve been taking on more and more responsibilities, and just yesterday evening, I sat down with my Google calendar, ready to put in another reminder, and I was like…”ooh wait, I don’t have any open spots where this would fit. Oh poop.”

    Susie is right about you needing to give yourself some grace. You do awesome things. You write awesome things. (I’ve never seen you perform but) I know you are incredibly talented in the performing arts. Take a minute and soak that all in. Sip that cozy tea. Read that book. Your time will come, maybe when you least expect it, but it’s coming.
    Evangeline recently posted…Week in Review: Simple ThingsMy Profile

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      That is EXACTLY it, Vangie. One part of you wants to chill out and knows you need to, but the other part thinks that if you do you’ll just be more stressed out because you aren’t getting all those things you “need” to do. Its a false belief that not doing xyz will just make our aniety worse, when really it is the drilling ourselves and adding to our to do lists that is creating the anxiety and making it worse. What a mean cycle, eh!!?
      But thank you. Your words really hit me.

  7. Emily Swanson | 30th Mar 17

    I know. exactly. what you mean. Friend, this is a HUGE Struggle, but remember that it doesn’t depend on you. It doesn’t depend on you, and you don’t have to make everything happen.

    It’s ok. You can slow down; don’t put all the pressure on yourself. You don’t have to be everything to everybody. <3 This is something I've had to tell myself about 800,000 times this year; and we want you to stop too and like Vangie said, 'soak it all in.' Smell the roses. Walk to places instead of driving so you have to slow down. Put your phone away and just go sit; soak in the sunshine.

    God made this world for us to enjoy and see His beauty and remember that He's in control; not us. <3 You don't have to be it all. <3
    Emily Swanson recently posted…How Meditation On Scriptural Truths Has Helped My RecoveryMy Profile

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      Sigh…. yes…. thank you, Emily. It’s all going to be okay if we let it. And enjoy the sun while we’re here. Thank you <3

  8. Emily Swanson | 30th Mar 17

    AND I want to give you a huge hug too. <3 Just hug you and say, 'Let's go and just enjoy the outdoors for a couple days!'
    Emily Swanson recently posted…How Meditation On Scriptural Truths Has Helped My RecoveryMy Profile

  9. Ellie Pell | 30th Mar 17

    I don’t have anything to say that we haven’t talked about already. You know how I feel about this and what you’ve written is wonderfully honest. Things will work out, I believe that. If you need someone to reassure you, I have a 4 hour drive tomorrow so we can talk the whole way there 😉
    Ellie Pell recently posted…Syracuse Half Marathon 2017My Profile

  10. chasetheredgrape | 30th Mar 17

    Yes! I have actually written on this topic and it is something I have to continue to remind myself daily. Especially with regards always finding something to do. There will always be something to do, that’s never going to change, but what can change is allowing myself to do nothing. Taking a nap, reading a magazine, even daydreaming… Yes, yes I can allow myself to do and enjoy these things.

    • Cora | 1st Apr 17

      Whats amazing is how scared we can get at the thought of there being “nothing to do.” Its a fear I have, yet I know that there is ALWAYS “something” to do. And if I feel like doing nothing – that is just as important.

  11. Casey the College Celiac | 30th Mar 17

    I need to tell myself this on a daily basis….especially right now. I’m definitely reaching the burned out stage after a whirlwind of starting my first full-time job, flying out and back from graduating college, dealing with the stress of grad school responses, and dealing with the demands of everyday family life. I have 2 weeks off starting Monday…and I know I really NEED to slow down and just do nothing, even though that’s not my nature. Sending you all the hugs and chill thoughts! Between the two of us, we’ll learn how to do the whole relaxing thang!
    Casey the College Celiac recently posted…18 Hilariously Accurate Tweets about Life with Celiac DiseaseMy Profile

    • Cora | 2nd Apr 17

      All the same right back to you girl. Please please please, use these 2 weeks as a gift to yourself to slow down, relax, treat yourself to all forms of self care you find most soothing. You deserve it so so so much. You’ve been working so hard. And then at the end of those two weeks, you will feel renewed and refreshed to start back at it all, stronger than ever. <3

  12. Megan | 31st Mar 17

    I have been exactly where you are: searching for the right job, not wanting to take the first one just because they offered, but feeling like I needed to take it to feel worth something… Keep your head up, breath, and wait for it…it will come.

    • Cora | 2nd Apr 17

      Yep that’s it. It can be hard and scary to choose to “wait” and live in uncertainty rather than taking the, possibly, “easier” route of accepting the first option given. But I think waiting is a message to ourselves that we know we are worth it. Thank you.

  13. Lyss | 31st Mar 17

    yesss I have had to tell myself to just stop and breathe. It helps me recenter my brain when I’m overthinking. Sometimes having that little inner pep talk can go a long way.

    • Cora | 2nd Apr 17

      Absolutely. It can be hard to get that little part of us to speak, or be heard, when we are too busy surrounding ourselves with noise and running around. But hopefully we are able to hear it enough to stop and listen.

  14. Naomi @ Naomi Why: Roots | 31st Mar 17

    This rings so true. One of my favorite authors, Emily P. Freeman, says, “You are the only person who can say no for yourself.” Nobody else will say no for you. I think that’s freeing in a way, to give yourself permission to say no, but it’s also so. crazy. hard. Sending you all the best!
    Naomi @ Naomi Why: Roots recently posted…Don’t Overthink Intuitive EatingMy Profile

    • Cora | 2nd Apr 17

      She sounds so wise. It is hard. But also extremely empowering.

  15. Liz | 1st Apr 17

    Ugh, I can so relate to this. At best, it’s motivating but frantic, at worst it’s paralysing. Our fast-paced world tells us to DO and not BE. Thank you for sharing, Cora- it’s time I took that advice!! xx
    Liz recently posted…That Ugly Monster, Food ShameMy Profile

    • Cora | 2nd Apr 17

      You nailed it, Liz. Motivating, thrilling, and paralyzing all within hairs of each other.

  16. The Laments of a Highly Sensitive Person | 1st Apr 17

    […] part of me feels like I want to apologize for my post on Thursday. I know that is also a silly thing to do but work with me. That was the type of thing I would […]

  17. Kristy from Southern In Law | 2nd Apr 17

    Yep! I was nodding along like a noddy dog whilst reading this whole post! I often need to tell myself to stop because it’s the hardest thing for me to do.
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Happy Birthday Jesse!My Profile

    • Cora | 2nd Apr 17

      Ugh it is so hard!!

  18. Week In Review: Time to Slow Down, Rest, Restore | 3rd Apr 17

    […] wrote. As you saw on Thursday and […]

  19. Kaylee | 4th Apr 17

    I can connect to this so much. I feel my life is all about the go, go, go and to do, do, do. It reminds me of this quote about us being human beings not human doings. I just need to take it a moment at a time. Be present and grant myself the time to just STOP. To stop and see and breathe and taste and smell and feel.

    Thinking of you, Cora, and sending you all the love and good vibes. ❤️

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