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Remembering What is Important and a Merry Christmas Eve

Hello dear friends

It is afternoon here on Christmas Eve Day. My house is filled with a beautiful silence. I know it won’t last much longer,  as I anticipate the arrival of my two brothers and their partners (and their dog). I’m sitting here by my window ledge looking out at the snow, drinking a mug of hot coffee and snacking on a collection of chocolate edibles. I just finished up a lunch of leftovers to help clear the fridge before the oncoming of stuffing and turkey arrives.

But there’s always room for fudge. 

Merry Christmas 

I still have a number of things to do before this evening’s christmas eve service, but my energy level has reached that of “holiday” status and so sitting sedentary, cocooned in a blanket sounded much more soothing. 

A part of me can’t believe how this is still a struggle for me. The thought of sitting down to chocolate, not exercising, and remaining in what will most likely be this position until I eat my next meal still feels…. wrong. 

I’ve been having more trouble this week than I thought I would. I’m having trouble remembering the things that are most important right now. I can tell myself the list, but the words don’t turn into feelings and sink into my bones like they sometimes do. 

And when I say “right now,” I do not just mean Christmas. I mean being at home, with family. A holiday. The time when we as a this human global society have this excitement and expectation to lay low, eat more, move less, spend time with family, catch up on leisure reading, watch movies…

Why can’t I feel this excitement like others? Why are these parts of holiday-ing easy for some to delve into and embrace, while for me, it’s almost like handing me a torture device. 

Merry Christmas

I’ve been more hungry since being home than I usually am and I’m trying not to scrutinize this.  I’m eating more and moving less and I’m trying to refuse to let “those” thoughts ruin my time with family.  I’m sitting here relaxing and a large part of me can feel the warm hug that I am offering myself by doing so. I feel that strange tug-a-war feeling of happiness and sadness combined… that feeling of letting go. But there is still the side that is uncomfortable. 

But I can survive uncomfortable. 

And there are more important things. 

I have to keep reminding myself of this. 

There are so many more important things. 

 

My family

Spending time with my brother and sister-in-law who I see so little and make the large trip from Newfoundland to spend time with us. Ashley has slipped into our family like bubbly, talkative butter.    My brother is so good to her. 

Seeing my other brother who has worked insanely hard this year after finally accepting his first position as a full time permanent elementary school teacher. He is so amazing at his job. He’s the best with kids. They are so lucky to have him.

Making my brothers’ partners feel welcome

Being nice. Treating others as they deserve.

Seeing Dan’s family. I’d really like to get closer to them and become more a part of their family. ‘Cause I freakin’ love Dan. 

Spending time like this in the silence of my home. Just having the energy of others in the house – somewhere – is something to cherish when you are used to living alone. 

Making homemade cards and wrapping the presents that I have made and carefully planned out for others. Giving them something to tell them I care, that I’m grateful, and they are loved.  Spending the time this has taken is priceless. 

Gathering around a large table, spending time with others. Remembering that talking and laughing are more important than thoughts about food.

Family is more important than what goes into my body. 

 

I just had to remind myself of this. Thank you all who also work to remind me. 

Merry Christmas

If only for one day, tomorrow is a day where I let all those thoughts go and focus only on what is most important.  

So – a very Merry Christmas to you all. I hope your thoughts are focused on the things that truly matter and that you enjoy the compassionate warmth of spending time with others, eating your favorite foods, wrapping yourself up in cozy blankets, and letting yourself just be.  

Have a wonderful night tonight and day tomorrow!

Love Cora

 

20 COMMENTS

  1. Casey the College Celiac | 24th Dec 16

    Merry Christmas to you too! It’s definitely so important to remember the holidays are really about, but it’s easy to let stray thoughts distract us. I hope your day is full of friends, family, fun and good food…because we all deserve it after kickin’ ass this year!
    Casey the College Celiac recently posted…Secretly Healthy S’mores Smoothie Bowl (Gluten Free, Vegan)My Profile

    • Cora | 27th Dec 16

      Heck yes, girl. Thank you <3

  2. Ellie Pell | 24th Dec 16

    Merry Christmas Cora. Have a wonderful day. I pray your anxiety lifts, the thoughts leave your mind and that you allow yourself to enjoy this time. I think writing down these thoughts will help you move past them. <3 Thinking of you 🙂
    Ellie Pell recently posted…Starting to run again and Holiday thingsMy Profile

    • Cora | 27th Dec 16

      They did, Ellie. Writing them down really helped. Thank you <3 <3

  3. chasetheredgrape | 25th Dec 16

    Yes we can survive the uncomfortable! It takes a while to truly believe we can but we can do it!
    Also family is food… Food for the soul… Enjoy your nourishment 🙂
    Merry Christmas lovely! X x
    chasetheredgrape recently posted…Thinking out loud for Christmas…My Profile

    • Cora | 27th Dec 16

      You are absolutely right. Food for the soul!!!

  4. Susie @ SuzLyfe | 26th Dec 16

    Merry Christmas and so much love.
    There is a reason why “peace” is a word for the holiday season.
    Susie @ SuzLyfe recently posted…That Last Deep Breath: Georgia Christmas 2016My Profile

  5. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar | 26th Dec 16

    Thanks for these thoughts. Eating lots of sweets and treats and letting it go has been really hard for me this holiday, too. Thanks for this reminder of what is, indeed, important (and so glad your brother’s partner fits so well in your family.) Hope you had a very merry Christmas!
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…Week in Review: Hurry, Scurry, ChristmasMy Profile

    • Cora | 27th Dec 16

      Thank you, and same to you Joyce. I hope any discouraging thoughts have left and let you be. <3

  6. Evangeline | 26th Dec 16

    The uncomfortable is uncomfortable, but it won’t always be uncomfortable. And while we wait for it to be less uncomfortable and more comfortable, we hold on to that precious reminder you mentioned. There are more important things to focus on. I’m with you Cora in feeling uncomfortable, but also I’m so thankful for this community that constantly reminds me that there is healing, and growth, and goodness <3 You're such an inspiration. Hope your Christmas was full of bliss.

    • Cora | 2nd Jan 17

      Uncomfortable is a part of life that I just don’t think we can bypass. And if we try to ignore it we are just living in two dimensions with a constant mask hiding who we are. So as much as it sucks, as long as we stick together and accept the discomfort, we will survive it. And probably come out the other end feeling that much fuller.

  7. Kristy from Southern In Law | 26th Dec 16

    We can survive the uncomfortable – and I hope your Christmas turned out to be a lovely one <3
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Best Things to Buy During the Boxing Day SalesMy Profile

    • Cora | 27th Dec 16

      We can. Thank you, Kristy – and same to you! <3

  8. Sarah | 26th Dec 16

    Great reminder that the company we are with, the smiles/laughs we share, the memories we make, are far more important than what we can put in our bodies. And yes, never too much fudge! I hope you had a great time with your family Cora, and a Merry Christmas!

    • Cora | 2nd Jan 17

      Thank you Sarah!! (Ugh for some reason some of your replies – and others – are still ending up in my spam). But I check it regularly now so I’ll save them. And yes – Never too much fudge!!!

  9. Miss Polkadot | 26th Dec 16

    Reading this only today I wish I had done so earlier. Your words resonated with my feelings and the situation I found myself in this year so much. I hope your Christmas turned out to be a wonderful time spent engaging in all that matters and pushing those uncomfortable feelings far into the back of your mind. Definitely easier said than done.
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Christmas week: [No] Santa [but a] BabyMy Profile

    • Cora | 27th Dec 16

      Right back at you darling <3

  10. Emily Swanson | 27th Dec 16

    MERRY Christmas precious sweet delightful Cora; to just be is a gift. It’s a reminder that God made us precious, that God made us in His image, and we don’t have to eat a certain amount or a certain kind of food to be made in His image. <3 Family is such an important reminder of His mercies; to just be, be present, eating pie, watching Christmas movies, singing Christmas hymns, that is the real joy of Christmas. <3
    Emily Swanson recently posted…The One New Year’s Goal for 2017My Profile

  11. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 31st Dec 16

    I think you’re doing amazing and it will get easier each time, I promise.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Currently: December 2016My Profile

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