Last week was bloody hard.
Everything right now feels pretty hard.
I finally beat down my anxiety which took a lot of work, and then took a lot of tears and discomfort and will power to not revert back to the numbing-ness of anxiety when I let myself feel what was underneath it all. Sigh. Life is just hard you guys.
But I’m not alone in this. I know we all share it. Feelings are hard. They are really hard.
So taking a look back at my accomplishments from last week is a pretty good idea, I think. I did a lot of cool things and it always helps to be reminded of that. Thanks Meg.
Let’s see what I did.
Well, it was definitely a coffeeshop week. I spent lots of time with my laptop and lots of money on half drank cups of coffee.
I used up a completely expired avocado by making these avocado brownies which turned out perfectly. Fudgy just as I wanted.
And I made some make shift rice crispy treats (I had the weirdest craving all the week before) by topping Arman’s 3 ingredient rice crispies with the chocolate ganache I learned from my favorite no bake fudge brownies.
I gave myself an evening of meditation, where my anxiety finally turned its corner.
I responded to comments.
I practiced hard for an audition
… in which I totally bombed (at least in my eyes). I felt pretty shitty. But having the experience taught me many things which I will now be taking forward with me. As hard as they were to have to learn, I’m glad to be learning from it now rather than later.
I spent a lot of friggen time on my new phone trying to set it up and get used to it. I had an iPhone and now I have a Samsung (because I got an incredible deal and really I could care less what type of phone I have), but the transition between systems is causing a few… annoyances…
I had an afternoon off from rehearsal so gave myself a quiet lunch at home
Grilled tofu BLT wrap / 2 avocado brownies / cumin and fennel tea
Where I also pulled out my journal and did some writing
And then had an afternoon of organizing and putting away my music binders. Fist pump to that.
Which I did while catching up on podcasts (and subscribing to many new ones on my iTunes feed)
I went out to a fancy bar with a couple friends and got a $14 cocktail. The bartender/mixologist just asked us what we liked/didn’t like and then made us a custom drink of his choosing. I have no idea what I was drinking (some sort of clementine egg white lemonade?)….. but it was pretty special. I’ve always wanted to taste a really, really well made drink, so I’m glad to now have crossed that off my bucketlist. And to have treated myself.
I watched the new season of Gilmore Girls. Meh?
Dan and I drove to Tori’s where I….er, acccomplished?…my cinnamon bun
I put my bed sheets back on my bed. After three nights of sleeping on a bare mattress…
And I bought toilet paper and paper towel. Which I HATE doing. Don’t ask me why. I just hate when I have to do it. Goddamn waste of money if you ask me.
And that was my week.
Things just feel icky right now. So much discomfort, so much anxiety and mood swings. My meditation and writing half way through the week really helped re-ground me and gave me some important insights, which I now have under me to use. So as hard as things have felt, I’ve also learned a lot, which is the most important accomplishment of all. I have more to say about everything that seems to be going on but for today I am focusing on the little good things.Hard weeks require focusing on all the cool things you did. Its #weekinreview with… Click To Tweet
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