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Week In Review: Baking, Writing, Meditating and Pushing Through

Last week was bloody hard. 

Everything right now feels pretty hard.

I finally beat down my anxiety which took a lot of work, and then took a lot of tears and discomfort and will power to not revert back to the numbing-ness of anxiety when I let myself feel what was underneath it all. Sigh. Life is just hard you guys. 

But I’m not alone in this. I know we all share it. Feelings are hard. They are really hard. 

 

So taking a look back at my accomplishments from last week is a pretty good idea, I think. I did a lot of cool things and it always helps to be reminded of that. Thanks Meg

Let’s see what I did.

 

Well, it was definitely a coffeeshop week. I spent lots of time with my laptop and lots of money on half drank cups of coffee. 

I baked. 

I used up a completely expired avocado by making these avocado brownies which turned out perfectly. Fudgy just as I wanted.

And I made some make shift rice crispy treats (I had the weirdest craving all the week before) by topping Arman’s 3 ingredient rice crispies with the chocolate ganache I learned from my favorite no bake fudge brownies. 

I gave myself an evening of meditation, where my anxiety finally turned its corner. 

I wrote two posts and simultaneously published two recipes. My favorite Thai Peanut Sauce (and Buddha Bowl) and my very special Edesia Bowl. 

I responded to comments. 

I practiced hard for an audition 

… in which I totally bombed (at least in my eyes). I felt pretty shitty. But having the experience taught me many things which I will now be taking forward with me. As hard as they were to have to learn, I’m glad to be learning from it now rather than later. 

I spent a lot of friggen time on my new phone trying to set it up and get used to it. I had an iPhone and now I have a Samsung (because I got an incredible deal and really I could care less what type of phone I have), but the transition between systems is causing a few… annoyances…

I had an afternoon off from rehearsal so gave myself a quiet lunch at home 

Grilled tofu BLT wrap / 2 avocado brownies / cumin and fennel tea

Where I also pulled out my journal and did some writing

And then had an afternoon of organizing and putting away my music binders. Fist pump to that.

Which I did while catching up on podcasts (and subscribing to many new ones on my iTunes feed)

I “celebrated” St. Patrick’s day by making some individual Irish Soda Breads 

I went out to a fancy bar with a couple friends and got a $14 cocktail. The bartender/mixologist just asked us what we liked/didn’t like and then made us a custom drink of his choosing. I have no idea what I was drinking (some sort of clementine egg white lemonade?)….. but it was pretty special. I’ve always wanted to taste a really, really well made drink, so I’m glad to now have crossed that off my bucketlist. And to have treated myself. 

I watched the new season of Gilmore Girls. Meh?

Dan and I drove to Tori’s where I….er, acccomplished?…my cinnamon bun

I put my bed sheets back on my bed. After three nights of sleeping on a bare mattress…

And I bought toilet paper and paper towel. Which I HATE doing. Don’t ask me why. I just hate when I have to do it. Goddamn waste of money if you ask me. 

And that was my week. 

Things just feel icky right now. So much discomfort, so much anxiety and mood swings. My meditation and writing half way through the week really helped re-ground me and gave me some important insights, which I now have under me to use. So as hard as things have felt, I’ve also learned a lot, which is the most important accomplishment of all. I have more to say about everything that seems to be going on but for today I am focusing on the little good things. 

Hard weeks require focusing on all the cool things you did. Its #weekinreview with… Click To Tweet

Tell me,

What items do you HATE having to buy? #damnadulting

Have you ever had a super expensive, properly made drink? 

Did you eat anything green for St. Patricks Day? I put pickles on my sandwich…?

42 COMMENTS

  1. chasetheredgrape | 20th Mar 17

    Just remember, these tough moments now lead to easier moments later. I promise. And you are doing so well in working through them in the right manner. Learning and growing all the time πŸ™‚
    I always find St Patrick’s day so funny – in the UK and in Australia nothing is done unless you are actually Irish and are going to an Irish pub. It’s literally just like any other day. In fact I probably wouldn’t even know it was St Patrick’s day if I wasn’t reading it on american bloggers pages!
    Oh and with you on the toilet roll. Always feels like throwing money away!

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Thanks jen. I can really see my shift in mental strength more than ever right now. We will all always continue to have hard weeks, but im learning to come out of them with even more vimour and determination than before. Its quite cool to see this shift :). I knew i wouldnt be alone in the detestation of buying paper products. Grrrrr!!!

  2. Kate | 20th Mar 17

    That first treat pictured looks so interesting and delicious – what could it be?
    I’m sorry things are so tough right now. Remember all the auditions you did kick butt at when you get down on yourself! It sounds like to me that you’re doing a lot of butt kicking!
    I admire your commitment to meditation… I need to give up my feelings of always being slightly distorted. I hope this week is a little better for you!
    Kate recently posted…Spicy and sweet weekendMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Its so weird that we have this lure toward feeling slightly disordered, as youve perfectly worded it. Its almost as if sometimes i dont want to meditate or get in touch with my feelings because that state of ungroudedness sometimes feels safer. But not good i say. I need to be more aware of this myself. My first pic? A blueberry scone?? Aha.

  3. Susie @ Suzlyfe | 20th Mar 17

    LOVE YOU.
    I don’t like buying paper products either, mostly because they throw off my as-many-bags-as-I-can-carry game, and I won’t stand for that. Also, I am a small person with short arms, so they are just difficult. Chips are also annoying (but necessary) to purchase because of the crush factor, and I hate it when the baggers put hummus on its side. It is just easier to make my own, honestly. I should just stick to that from now on.
    I’m keeping it light because that is all I have the mental capacity for today. xoxox
    Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…Positives and Big Fat NegativesMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Hahaha!!! Oh the problems!!!

  4. Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy | 20th Mar 17

    I think every girl deserves a $14 cocktail at some point in her life – I hope it tasted amazing! And those fudgey brownies – gah. Let me just tell ya – I get inspiration for snacks throughout the week every Monday through your posts. I’m sure your audition wasn’t as bad as you think it was – we are often our own worst critics. Plus, you have dominated some in the past! And the most important thing is that you took some lessons away from it.
    Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy recently posted…St. Paddy’s 5 Mile Mud Run Challenge RecapMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      As much as it has sucked to feel the disappointment etc, i do know ive learned from it. Which will, if nothing else, help me in the future in my auditions. Im glad im a snack inspiration. I have like three of your recipes on my must make next list. Oie. I want them all!

  5. Jamie@TheMomGene | 20th Mar 17

    Hard days are…hard. How’s that for the understatement of the year. You did good though, friend. You carried on. I’m glad you got a fancy drink and we’re social. And I’m glad you bought toilet paper…for obvious reasons. I hate buying it too. Like flushing money down the toilet (pun intended as your stress reliever of the day) ☺️

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Lol. Yeah this comment definitely helped. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  6. Heather @ Polyglot Jot | 20th Mar 17

    Glad you enjoyed some yummy foods and drinks–that always helps me when I’m going through a rough patch. Hope this week brightens for you! <3 I also hate buying paper products!
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…Quick Update & RecentlyMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Thanks Heather. And all the same to you. Lets keep those comfort food and drinks flowing for the both of us!!

  7. Kat | 20th Mar 17

    Girl today is a new day. This week is a new week. So strap in, lift your chin, take a breath and set your sights on a better week for yourself. Remember that our brain’s believe whatever we tell them – so you tell yours that you are a beautiful, strong, capable woman who is going to crush this week. You tell yours that you aren’t letting anything stop you, side track you or throw you off course. You tell yours that you love yourself more than any negative thought it could throw your way. And then you build from that.
    You got this girl. Here’s to a better week. <3
    Kat recently posted…Turkey Sweet Potato Nuggets [Gluten-Free / Paleo]My Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      You know kat, after my rejection experience on monday, i swear these words of yours seeped directly through my skin and gave me a blood stream of pure FURY. I am feeling more determined, more stubborn and more kick ass than i ever have. Im not giving up and im going to do everything i can to get what i want. I cant thank you enough for all your encouragment and comments like this that light a fricken fire under my bum. Now just promise me youll have a matching fire under your bum too!!

  8. Lyss | 20th Mar 17

    I feel you with last week being crappy. But today is the new start to the week and we can both make it a great one πŸ™‚ Glad you got some baking and meditating in too! that’s always nice for the mind. Have a great day Cora <3
    Lyss recently posted…I’m Glad I Eat at the Dining Hall…?My Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      I hope this week is treating you much better Lyss!

  9. danielle | 20th Mar 17

    irish soda bread sounds awesome! i have always wanted to make it and i know it’s easy. it’s on my list somewhere. we ate nothing green intentionally for st. patty’s day mainly because now that we have a tiny creature to mind, these details don’t cross my mind. actually as i type this i realize i ate a whole lot of green – and intentionally, so i’m literally contradicting myself as i type and that’s fine. my memory is not great, it’s delayed, and that’s fine, too. i ate green melon, lots of green salads, and avocado. too much green actually my tummy hurt!
    i hate buying stuff like drain softener or anything chemical-ly. or men’s stuff. like after shave. i just grab something but now i have to pay attention. of course i don’t like anyone buying my stuff but i’m the only one that does the shopping. oh first world problems, so funny!
    danielle recently posted…WIR sleep less play moreMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Lol. This was awesome. Too much green!!! And oh god I’d be so lost if I were in charge of getting the mens’ stuff.

  10. Emily Swanson | 20th Mar 17

    dear Cora, last week was tough here too. we lost this precious little boy in our church, but at the same time the joy was that Charlie is with Jesus, no more suffering and no more of the pain experienced in this world because of sin.

    I feel so bad for you, seeing that you had a tough week, but you’re alive! You made delicious treats. You fueled your body with good things; you were able to share tough things with us, so we can think of and pray for you.

    You are a woman, made in God’s image, made for more than focusing on that less than stellar audition; don’t be too hard on yourself! Keep going forward. We all have tough, hard weeks, but you are still you. You are still a gift, still a precious human being, and a hard week doesn’t change that. <3 you so much. HUGS.
    Emily Swanson recently posted…Finding Bloggers That Aid In Your Recovery (Podcast #13)My Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      I’m so sorry for your loss, Emily. Losing someone is so difficult. Im glad you can see the light that this part of life shows us.
      Thank you Emily. Your words are so warming. <3

  11. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 20th Mar 17

    As someone who has now officially sat in a bathtub with poop, I can tell you toilet paper is not a waste of money. πŸ™‚

    A-men to the fancy cocktails. I had a fun one yesterday too and it was divine (think raspberry sour).

    Hard weeks happen and I always think it’s how we deal with them that makes us stronger and better. It’s also one of the reasons I love the WIR because despite tough or stressful times, we’re forced to go back and recognize all the good. You’re doing great. Also I would like you to come cook for me. K, thanks, bye. πŸ™‚

    PS. Everyone who is successful has failed at one time or another. It’s part of the growing and learning process.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Week in Review: The Momentous Edition (#75)My Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Lol. Touche…

      I still need to try a moscow mule. That’s going to be my next fancy drink. And yes this is exactly why the WIR rocks. It forces us to focus only on the good. I would cook for you any day, but I may use your recipes.

  12. Juli@1000lovelythings | 20th Mar 17

    I am sorry you had such a challenging week. But I think you made the most of it. Sometimes that’s all we can ask for! Let’s just forget it now, move on and make the next a better one!
    I am a weird women. I hate buying any kind of beauty products. Make-up, foundations and everything you can put on your face, in your hair…
    I have had expensive drinks, I have had cheap drinks and all I can say is that I usually don’t taste a difference. I am a lowbrow. That being said I took two bartending classes. One in a high class cocktail bar and one in a basement of a restaurant. We made the better drinks at the ladder.
    I had fresh basil on my pizza on Friday. I think that equals your pickles πŸ˜‰
    Juli@1000lovelythings recently posted…Week in Review – The Bouncy and Happy OneMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Ugh I hate buying that stuff as well!! Every time I have to spend $10 on my basic foundation I want to hide away and pretend it never happened.
      The drink was very good. You could definitely tell it had all the right balance and quantities etc. etc. Butttttt could I have actually noticed a difference with a regular cocktail or cheaper drink? Probably not. But hey it was nice to pretend to be all schmancy for at least one night. I feel you’d make a killer drink.

  13. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar | 20th Mar 17

    : ( Sounds like a tough week. Feelings are hard. And auditions are hard. Even when they go well, I’ve always found high-stakes things like auditions, tests, and papers just take a lot of mental and emotional energy.
    As for the fancy cocktail, that’s really cool how they made a custom drink just based on what you said you liked. I had a hallmate in undergrad who did just that for a class project–except with cupcakes! She made me these orange vanilla filled cupcakes that were so good. Glad you splurged on yourself.
    A cinnamon bun is definitely an accomplishment!
    Hang in there.
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…A Week of PeepsMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Oh man do they ever. Those things – auditions, interviews, tests etc. – can comPLETELY drain us. Mental stimulation is like a double marathon.
      I want to meet your friend and get a custom cupcake.

  14. Miss Polkadot | 20th Mar 17

    Sorry you’re wrapping up a hard week. Anxiety and emotions in general are tough to handle. I’m in no position to dish out advice there myself but I’m glad you found ways to move on at least a bit.
    About that audition you left feeling unsatisfied: remember we’re always our harshest critics. As well as your realization that only you know how exactly you’d hoped for your performance to look like so others might still see a successful whole picture.
    I’m not sure if you’ve heard of or even read Gretchen Rubin’s “Happiness Project” but – currently rereading it and coincidentially the chapter on money today – spending on ourselves is good. Wisely, of course but I think neither of us would really have trouble overspending where unnecessary. Good you treated yourself to those baked goods and coffees this past week.

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Sounds like a book i should look into. Thanks sunne. I know our inner critics often wear really skewed hyper sensitive goggles, so we need to tell them to take a little chill pill from time to time. Hope you are having a nice week <3

  15. Ellie Pell | 20th Mar 17

    I love how you put chocolate onto of the rice krispie treats. Everything is better with frosting πŸ™‚ I hate buying toilet paper because it’s so big and bulky and I always drop it fumbling with my keys. Le sigh…
    I hope the weight training is helping that anxiety <3
    Ellie Pell recently posted…Must Watch YouTube Channel: A Case Of The JillsMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      Ugh YES and of course it doesn’t fit in any sort of bag. Grrrrrrr all around. Who needs paper.
      People need chocolate though. The thought of a bare rice crispy just did not cut it.

  16. Evangeline | 20th Mar 17

    One of my favorite environmentalists and writers, John Muir, once said that “The sun shines not on us but in us. The rivers flow not past, but through us.” It looks like your week was kind of like that. Not a whole of sunshine shining on you, but you practiced some beautiful self care and generated that sunshine inside by baking and taking time to be still. My prayers and thoughts are with you during this new week, Cora <3
    Evangeline recently posted…An Ode to the Y ChromosomeMy Profile

    • Cora | 23rd Mar 17

      That’s a beautiful quote. I’ll keep it. Thanks, Vang <3

  17. Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday | 20th Mar 17

    I sorta feel you on the rough week. I mean, I have had a GREAT week, but I’ve also had a lot of icky feelings and at least three meltdowns. Wish I were kidding.
    I, too, hate buying paper product, but I’m the “responsible one” who always gets them for the apartment, otherwise we straight up run out. The only time I hate my Diet Coke addiction is when I have to buy it, too. That stuff gets heavy πŸ˜›
    Here’s hoping for a better week. Always here if you need an ear, my friend.
    Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday recently posted…My 21st Birthday PartyMy Profile

    • Cora | 24th Mar 17

      And same to you. Sorry to hear you experienced some hard monents. Breakdowns always lead to build ups…but they are still hard in the moment. <3

  18. Kathryn Pfeffer | 20th Mar 17

    Thank you so much for featuring my Avocado Brownies! Your pictures are beautiful and I love the creativity in your delicious recipes! Looking forward to more posts!
    Best,
    Katie of One Hungry Bunny

    • Cora | 24th Mar 17

      They were soooo good! Thank you for the recipe!

  19. marti @fitwithheart | 21st Mar 17

    girl you can get through this!! we all have bad weeks with anxiety, insecurity, feeling like we aren’t good enough (well at least i’m HOPING i’m not the only one!) but you can DO THIS. this week i’m focusing on BEING PRESENT and being with the people that matter MOST in my life. pouring myself into others takes the focus away from my own struggles and reminds me what life is all about! you can do this and i’m always here to listen too!

    hmm..i think its super annoyingto spend money on toilet paper…paper towels..although i enjoy using both πŸ˜‰ – i also hate spending money on new socks and underwear…but i love wearing them! haha!
    ps. those brownies look amazing!

    • Cora | 24th Mar 17

      Thannkk you. Its been my goal to just be really present and grounded this week, and putting focus on others is such such a good strategy. It works double time to centre us and make us feel good. Thank you for this reminder.
      Blegh i never buy new socks or underwear for myself!! Or i hattteee when i have to. Too bad they are somewhat necessary…

  20. Kristy from Southern In Law | 22nd Mar 17

    Oh, girl! I hope this week has been so much better for you. Sending hugs! ❀

    • Cora | 24th Mar 17

      It has been. Thanks love <3

  21. Kaylee | 23rd Mar 17

    Also, I still can’t seem to respond to your replies to my comments on your post (that’s a mouthful!). πŸ™ So here’s my reply to your question on the Thai peanut sauce post: yes! it’s so weird. I lovelovelove other nut butters. I think it’s just that I associate peanuts with savory things. I also dislike Snickers or those desserts with even a sprinkling of peanuts!

    I had a moscow mule once! That was pretty good though I only finished 1/2 of it. ? Nothing of the top of my head that I can’t stand purchasing but I do know I absolutely detest putting sheets on my mattress. GAH.

    Sorry to hear about the anxiety. I hope you have been feeling at least a tad better throughout this week. Sometime we just have to bear with the discomfort of it all, which I think you have realized too. So congrats for sitting with your feelings & not numbing them. That’s an accomplishment within itself.
    Kaylee recently posted…Week in Review: “Real” WorldMy Profile

    • Cora | 24th Mar 17

      You know we are all a little confusing. I LOVE peanut butter but really dont like things with peanuts in them (chocolate bars or desserts or even on ice cream)

      Moscow mule is top of my list to try! And yes… just living through the hard feelings is so much better than numbing them ojt <3

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