Good morning dove,
Can we go on a coffee date? So I can maybe tell you everything that’s rumbling around in this heart and soul of mine? Sort of like an end of summer thinking out loud meets “currently” update? Okay. Thank you. Thank you for listening.
Telling you all about my last week, thanks to Meg
Last week I…
Took a day off work to visit a friend in Burlington – a really nice city an hour outside of Toronto.
Ah trains. So relaxing.
Over the past few months, my aversion to the city – the busyness, the hustle, the vast of people, the noise, the construction, the anger and poverty I see each day – has grown exponentially. I used to love the city. But lately my bike commutes through downtown have left me feeling a pained longing to just…get out. To nest. To settle (gasp!!). To be somewhere quieter. Somewhere that feels like it could actually be “home.” Not surprisingly, I’ve been looking for more opportunities to get away.
My friend and I talked and talked, she showed me around, we went out for delicious Thai food and saw Dunkirk in “Dbox” (moving seats!) – my first time with this rather fun and luxurious experience. Then the morning I left we went on a beautiful 1.5 hour hike. It was so lovely. It was mostly just so nice to be with a friend from back home and be somewhere quiet.
This – along with some beautiful weather we’ve been having – set my heart on fire to make walks a larger part of my life. I’ve never liked wearing earphones or listening to anything while I walk around outside. I’ve just never liked that sense of distance from what’s happening around me. But this week I had an urge to put some podcasts on my phone for the first time and combine my walk with some easy listening. I LOVED IT. Funny how things change.
I went on a couple really nice walks and listened to a number of podcasts, including Sarah’s interview on Real Talk RD, and this interesting interview focusing on the gut microbiome. Besides these, my new favorite podcasts as of late are Desert Island Discs (which just celebrated its 75th anniversary on BBC – listen to the interview with Julie Andrews. Sooooo lovely), The Nerdists, and The Adult Chair with Michelle Chalfant.
I wrote this post as I’ve been going through a recent shift with movement. This past week, it become a bit more prevalent. One of the things that I’ve gained from my recent stomach struggles, is a bit of a wake up call in terms of my overall health. After eight years of exercising and an inability to break up with the gym, I’ve all of a sudden found myself in a place I’ve never quite been in before. A sincere, down to the gut, complete lack of desire. Some days it’s been sad and really scary. Some days it’s been freeing and joyous and exciting. There’s about two more coffee dates needed to fully discuss this with you, so I’ll wait until we meet again. But I will say that last week, alongside my couple of walks, I went to two yoga classes. They weren’t great classes – haha – but they still satisfied my craving to move and breathe.
If we had time, I would tell you how I woke up Friday morning feeling very stressed.
All of a sudden, I realized that it is almost SEPTEMBER. What. the. hell!? I realized that this time next week I will be on a plane to Victoria BC for a friends’ wedding – which I’m ridiculously excited for – but that this also means it is the end of summer and I feel like I have not done half the things I wanted to do. I had such a clear picture of where I’d be by this time, and yet I have not seen the majority of my goals come to fruition. As I was so sure I would. I’m sad that I spent a lot of time on other things and let them take presidence over my goals. I’ve realized how I let myself work way too much. Come fall, I plan on making a change in this area so I do not have to feel this way again. Get back to what is important and not fall off course again.
I’ve been working hard to try and not ridicule myself or feel too guilty, so have been trying to use this realization to put a real fire under my butt and get back some dedication, motivation, and set some solid priorities for this coming week.
Play reading + cookie + coffee = the best turn around to a day
Two things that helped were meeting a director, who has so kindly asked me to be a stage manager/production assistant on a play he is doing this winter. This won’t have me on stage where I want to be, but it will help me connect with some important people and will just enable me to work in the theatre in whatever element I can. I finished reading the play we will be doing during a really nice coffee/cookie break in-between shifts.
I also spoke to a previous musical director of mine who has asked me to be a substitute vocal teacher for him at his new music school this winter. This also made me feel hopeful as it is something that will help me get on the road to making a living doing things in line with my passions and transition away from jo-jobs.
Working from home
In anticipation of moving and my desire to feel a greater sense of “home,” I’ve began purging things in my apartment and have made a mini goal to – each day – get rid of something. Or change something. Or treat myself to something that makes me feel more comfortable where I am. I bought a new dish dryer rack, which felt really good (oh the little joys). And, after three years of owning my table, I took out its’ expander piece – along with my hardy carpenter skills – and made my table into its larger size. I LOVE IT. I love the extra space for throwing things on and spreading out my work and having more comfortable meals.
Pancake breakfast: GF pancakes / almond butter / blueberries / oranges
Speaking of meals, I would tell you how I’ve been feeling quite a bit better in terms of my stomach discomfort. I put out this food-heavy post and showed you how I’ve been going back to the basics and focusing only on very simple foods. I’ve noticed a big difference pain wise, but most importantly, eating simply has enabled me to really pin point when I have something that does trigger some discomfort. Rather than having a complex recipe where there could be 10 things that didn’t settle well, eating very simple meals makes anything weird stick out.
I would also tell you how amazed and thankful I’ve been for all your comments during these posts. I can’t believe how many of you have said you’ve experienced similar feelings, and that a number of you have also noticed you can’t do things like fruit or yogurt or fermented foods! I really thought maybe I was just being dramatic on this one. Or crazy. After all, those things are supposed to be what you eat for better gut health, no? Regardless, I’ve been finding that all my body and brain want is very plain foods – and mostly carbs. Rice, pancakes, oats and popcorn are absolutely what are feeling best.
English muffin + mayo + cheese + carrots + fresh garden tomatoes
And of course when your friend gives you a bag of her fresh grown garden tomatoes, you come home and make a little snack plate.Coffee Date Week In Review. Getting out of the city, re-starting with goals and shifts in… Click To Tweet
Okay. Thanks for the coffee date.
I realized this is probably my only chance to mind dump before the end of summer – so you kind of got everything all in one. I really hope all these realizations set me up for some positive change this coming week, and for moving on into the fall. I really hope this re-starts me to put my real priorities first again. I need to be brave and get back to my goals. I know I also need to not be too hard on myself and see all the ways I have really tried to make things happen this summer. Here’s to moving forward.
How do you feel at the end of the summer?
Do you put in earphones when you walk? Any new favorite podcasts?
What’s the first thing you do when you feel an urge to “re-start?”
Did you ever feel an urge to get out of a specific environment? To feel more “at home?” What did you do?
Popping in here for a real old-school What I Ate Wednesday (er, Monday…