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Week In Review: Getting Out Of The Mess

Oh man you guys

Last week was messy. Messy messy messy. It was just…really busy…I guess. Since being back from home, I’ve worked nearly every day. Eight days in a row. Ontop of that, it is now the beginning of the Toronto Fringe Festival, so in addition to opening my own show and fitting in my performances around my work schedule, I’ve been scheduling in where I can get out to see other shows.

If you haven’t noticed, my blogging has taken quite a backseat. I could go on about all the things that are going on with me…and I will do so. But you know, Sunday mornings are my time to look back at the moments that make me smile.  Not at all the stress and mess and difficult days.

Amidst all the mess-i-ness of the last couple of weeks, I still managed to get in a lot of things for me. I mean…I have to. I’m not even sure what would happen if I didn’t. By the end of the week, those are the things that seem to matter the most anyways.  

Thank you Meg for helping me recap the good things. Since last week I focused on my time at home, I’m throwing in some moments from the week before as well 

In the last couple weeks I…

Had an outdoor picnic with Dan. FINALLY we are having beautiful weather. 

picnic mess

Made a batch of Sarah’s Sunflower Chocolate Chickpea Bars

sunflower bars mess

Ordered and received a package of things to make better self tapes.  I got myself a tripod, light reflectors and a mini lapel mic. 

package mess

Started Anne Lammott’s new book, Hallelujah Anyway. She’s my favorite. 

anne lamott mess

Like I’ve alluded to, things have been messy. More so than just with the busy schedule. I just kind of feel… insane. There’s a lot of internal shifts and changing feelings going on. I’m in a place of transition, it seems – yet I’m stuck somewhere in the middle between desiring change and the fear of letting go of the things I know. That all being said, there were a few moments last week where I desperately needed to show myself some calm and compassion. Taking myself out for a ritzy decaf cappuccino was one of these moments. 

cappuccino mess

Another moment that – literally – kind of saved me, was this one. I was feeling like I had had zero time to myself, to catch up on all the little things like emails and scheduling. Which was making me feel pretty out of control…ya know? But in between a rehearsal and work, I managed to get in a solid two hours of outdoor desk time and caught up on what felt like a trillion things. It felt… amazing. The latte really helped too. 

work mess

I had a few other necessary moments where I took myself out for a dose of comfort and reading

reading mess

work mess

Or tacos. 

 tacos mess  Every week should involve tacos, no? 

I saw my therapist, and put away a load of laundry

I ordered and picked up a play from the library. Oh man. Taking out books from the library is just the BEST feeling, isn’t it!? Especially when the book is that perrrrrfect level of worn in so that it opens so effortlessly. 

play mess

I had a really, really nice meeting with an agent. Just have to wait it out a little now. 

Like I mentioned, I also opened my show at the fringe – three performances down – and began taking in other shows

fringe mess

But if you were to really ask me what’s exciting in my life right now, I would tell you it is the new additions to my family. Guys, I have a new baby!! Actually… two! To join their Kombucha siblings, please meet my very first sourdough starter and homemade ghee!! Get ready for ALL the sourdough baking. If I can continue to figure it out…

More on making my own ghee in an upcoming post. 

fermentation mess

What do you need to do when your life feels messy? #weekinreview #selfcare #slowdown #ferment… Click To Tweet

See, I need to fit in these things. On top of the “needs” and “shoulds” of making a career and making money etc. etc, these are the things that make me happy. I know adding things to an already full schedule has the potential to just add more stress, but without them, I just see myself exploding. In some sort of even messier mess than the mess I already am. 

Tell me,

What do you need to do when your life feels messy?

Have you made anything recently? – be it baking, fermentation, a craft, art, babies…?

34 COMMENTS

  1. Evangeline | 10th Jul 17

    Eight days in a row of work must have been exhausting in every way. Just the fact that you worked that much AND were able to do all the other stuff mentioned, is insane. You might not feel like superwoman, but I’m here to tell you are. Sarah’s bars look scrumptious. I’ll make them after I finish eating my 349389 loaves of banana bread that I accumulated. Checking out library books IS totally a fantastic feeling. “Look at me making use of my hard earned tax dollars.” Also libraries themselves have a captivating air. So much knowledge and understanding shelved in a compact space. Also, I’m way excited by your sourdough starter. More details to come?
    Evangeline recently posted…Feelin’ like an oregano fleck {Week in Review}My Profile

    • Cora | 10th Jul 17

      They really do, don’t they! You step into one and its like you get this waft of childhood memory mixed with community mixed with relaxation. I’d totally take one of those loaves of banana bread off your hands….

      And yes! Sourdough starter is no joke. But I’m hoping I make my very first use of it tomorrow. So then will hopefully have some successes to share!

  2. Patricia @Sweet and Strong | 10th Jul 17

    I’m happy that I can make my own bread, but I haven’t touched kombucha yet. I love drinking it though and probably shouldn’t be paying out for it every week.
    Patricia @Sweet and Strong recently posted…Pool Day, Pizza Night, and other Weekend HighlightsMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Kombucha is so much easier than bread!! I definitely wouldn’t be drinking it regularly if I had to buy it. That stuff is not cheap!! I think you should start a batch of your own 🙂

  3. Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy | 10th Jul 17

    I can’t wait to hear more about this sourdough starter and homemade ghee – wooohoo! And coffee/cappucino’s make everything better – one of my favorite forms of self care. I love all the colors in your outdoor picnics – you and Dan know how to get it done!
    Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy recently posted…Running When You’re Not Training for AnythingMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Something about a good, well made, hot cappuccino is just the most soul soothing thing. I really like that we agree on this.

      I can’t believe my sourdough actually worked out! Holy man it is not an easy process. Its just like having a baby!

  4. Heather @ Polyglot Jot | 10th Jul 17

    Sorry to hear youre going through some rough stuff, Cora! I have been battling so much change with having a new baby too. I have found that doing something small for myself each day has helped a lot. I’ve made it a point in the past week to do something for me. Whether it’s make coffee and sit on my balcony, take a walk alone after a feeding session, or take a nap while someone holds her..it makes a huge difference! Today’s me time?! blog reading while she sleeps on my chest 😀
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…Aubrey’s Birth StoryMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Heather – that is wonderful!! I feel like many moms – though I could be wrong – don’t do this for themselves at all and feel like they need to be “on” or with their baby every moment of every day. Thereby not taking care of their own health and making themselves an unhealthy, exhausted mess…. which then of course doesn’t let them be the best mom they can be! Taking these moments to yourself, when you can, to do something YOU love and YOU find soothing is so so wonderful. Please keep it up!

  5. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 10th Jul 17

    I stress clean when things feel out of order. It gives me a false sense of control and I’m alright with that, especially since I know exactly what I’m doing while I’m doing it, and the end result is I feel better and my house is cleaner. 🙂

    I’m so glad you fit in the things that make you happy and congratulations on the addition to the family. I want some of that sourdough when I’m in Canada in two weeks. Maybe we can meet up, like in person?
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Week in Review: The In-Laws are Coming, The In-Laws are Coming (#90)My Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Stress cleaning is real, and I think as long as it done in a certain way, it can be a totally healthy stress reliever. Sometime it just makes me more anxious. I have to watch that balance.

      It would be AMAZING if we could meet up, Meg!! I would make my way to wherever you were. Send me an email when you know of your plans of when and where you will be. Either my blog address or coramatheson@live.ca

  6. Naomi @ Naomi Why: Roots | 10th Jul 17

    Those bars look ahhhhmazing. I used to frequent the library all the dang time and now I rarely go. Perhaps a trip is in order, for nostalgia’s sake? I love how you know how to take much-needed time for yourself. <3 Ritzy coffee is one of the best ways, I think.
    Naomi @ Naomi Why: Roots recently posted…eating for the long run + eats recentlyMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      You know, the library was never a huge huge thing in my upbringing. I think that’s why I’m taking such extra enjoyment in it now. It is nostalgic, and yet its relaxation capabilities have no age boundary!

  7. Jamie@TheMomGene | 10th Jul 17

    I just put Anne Lamott’s new book on my library queue yesterday!!!! I would love to have tea with her. Just once. Life-changing. I’m sending you peaceful vibes right now for a calmer week (while I’m sitting here at the dentist 🙄).

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Dentist. Gross!!

      Oh man. To get coffee with Anne Lamott. I would just sit there in silence. Maybe we’d both just sit there in silence. I just want to breathe in everything she says.

  8. Emily Swanson | 10th Jul 17

    Eight days of working in a row sounds insane Cora! How do you do it? 🙂 I always struggle with my life feeling less than perfect, because I do feel like a mess most days. But I’m thankful that Jesus Christ came to save messes like me and change me.

    And those unexpected moments or hours of quiet and peace are SO so soul filling, aren’t they? <3
    Emily Swanson recently posted…Finding Whose We Are Series III: Shown So Much MercyMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      I think we all feel like giant messes a lot of the time. That reminder usually helps me. Makes me feel a little LESS like a mess. Or at least not alone in it.

  9. Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table | 10th Jul 17

    I feel you on the messy! We were gone all last week, and this week I have an eye infection, my computer crashed, and we found out we have to move. I’m thinking I need more wine. LOL!

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      OH MAN!! Seriously. Life. It just strikes you with everything all at once!!

      Yes….. wine.

  10. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar | 10th Jul 17

    Glad to hear you got in some quiet, happy-space time on top of all the messy stuff. Eight days of work in a row sounds tough indeed, on top of all the hard work you do in your professional acting (or soon to be!) job.
    The library book feeling. So many happy associations with that exact feeling.
    Best of wishes on that sourdough and ghee. Hope they turn out amazing!
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…Drinking and DrugsMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      So my first sourdough attempt …. fail.
      My second though? Holy man it worked out!! I coudn’t believe it. And goes very well with my ghee 🙂

      Now that all that is over, I’m exhausted. Like, I’m really…really… tired this week. 🙁

  11. chasetheredgrape | 10th Jul 17

    ‘I’m in a place of transition, it seems – yet I’m stuck somewhere in the middle between desiring change and the fear of letting go of the things I know.’ <—— this so much. I really feel this way with my day to day right now. For me, I am finding that I'm having too much time to myself, I just don't want it to be that way anymore…
    But I am also feeling your library love! I just adore reading a book that has already been read and is just prime ready for you. Such a good feeling! Also I must get around to making my own sourdough starter one day, along with some kimchi and sauerkraut too!

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      That is how I am feeling exactly!!As much as I am an introvert, I am finding alone time harder and harder and harder. And realizing more and more how much I want someone else around. You and I have some weird similarities currently going on.

      Kimchi and sauerkraut should go back on my list. I’ve tried them both… without success. Maybe one day. Right now I”m just in plain shock that I actually managed to make my own sourdough. Seriously …. keeping a starter going is just like having a baby!! I change my plans around so I can get home to feed it! hahaha

  12. Kristy from Southern In Law | 11th Jul 17

    I totally understand feeling messy – but right now I feel messy and frantic. I have SO MUCH going on that I feel like I’m kind of bubbling just at the waterline… not quite sinking in the mess but not quite floating either 😛

    Luckily I know that things aren’t going to be this crazy forever and it’s just the end of financial year/start of a new financial year rush!
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Recipe: Honey Sweetened Chai Zucchini Muffins (Gluten Free!)My Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Hoooo boy. That sounds frantic, indeed. Hopefully you aren’t bubbling over so much that you are losing a sense of what you need to stay “you.” Keep yourself grounded as much as you can and know that soon this phase be done with. Then hopefully you have some time carved out for some serious relaxation!?

  13. danielle | 11th Jul 17

    so many thoughts swimming around!!! but i have a headache so i’ll keep it on the short side 🙂 i’ve been having major anxiety lately and am doing my best to give myself the care and patience i need. i have to remind myself that i had an ED for over 20 years and didn’t really stop the extreme behaviors till i got pregnant… that’s kinda crazy to expect that i suddenly become OK now. so basically i toggle between feeling blessed to feeling very panicky. i never had healthy coping skills, but suddenly i don’t have time to think too much and just focus on giving my sweet girl the best life experience possible. i guess i’ve been able to manage by focusing on something outside of myself, but i still need help. i’m recognizing this now. i’m working on healing my inner self now. it’s going to take time and work. but it will be worth it…

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      I think it will constantly take work. Constant learning. Constant ups and downs. But having something else – like for you your girl – to focus on I think is one of the best ways to beat all of this. I don’t have a child, but I definitely feel something similar just in terms of time with my family, or making time for friends, or heck… taking care of my new sourdough starter which I have to feed regularly and change my plans around just so I can get home to feed! It reminds us that there are more important things.

      I hope you are finding some relaxation and grounding this week. Some quiet time just to you? Or maybe some sunshine on your lovely face!?

  14. Kat | 11th Jul 17

    Oh messy, crazy, insane life – yet how beautiful it is, right?
    I’m sorry to hear that things have been a bit hectic and out of sorts for you, but it seems like you did a good job of handling it with spending time outdoors and even squeezing in email time. I know that when I have a lot of work and feel like everything is crammed into my days, I get super stressed, irritated and of course, MEAN [just ask my poor husband]. The best advice to give is what you’ve already done – take a breath and schedule just an hour for yourself. Do something within that time that YOU LOVE – and not necessarily something that “needs” to be done!
    Kat recently posted…Gluten-Free Lemon Coconut CupcakesMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Exactly. I’m actually amazed at how even ONE hour … alone in a coffee shop or in a park…. is enough to give me a sense of control and grounding again. I don’t even always need a whole day (though, sometimes… like now… a whole day sounds really really nice).

  15. Hannah | 11th Jul 17

    When things are super busy I figure…I I will be stressed whether I add things that make me happy or not, so why not add them? Easier said than done though. I need to take myself to a yoga class or on a hike – somewhere I’m forced to put away the computer/phone/work and just be.

    And I’m currently trying to resurrect my scoby because I left it in the fridge for…a few…months. It’s rehydrated now but no signs of life. At least of had a jar of unfiltered kombucha that stayed in the fridge so long it’s started making its own little scoby.

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      That’s a very good point. At least to be stressed AND with a few happy nuggets is better than stressed with none.

      I had my scoby in the fridge once for like half a year and it came back to life. Those things can be pretty resilient. Have faith!!

  16. Miss Polkadot | 14th Jul 17

    No matter if this is getting repetitive or not: I’m so glad you’re making an effort to squeeze in time for self care even in the busiest of times. I know people who don’t and … it never ends well in the long run. Working eight days in a row is insanity! Will your schedule lighten up at least a bit in the future?
    Also, I wish I could see your show and a few others. Theatres are magical. There’s a ‘Night of the Theatres’ in a city a few hours from here and it allows peeks into the programs of just about every theatre around. If I don’t forget to look up the date and get tickets in time, I want to go there again this year.
    Picking up books from the library is one of the best feelings indeed. Ours in town is tiny but I remember walking into the huge one close to my apartment while I was studying, one book in mind, walking out with five. Obviously after spending a long time browsing the aisles and wistfully leaving another handful behind. I miss that library.
    Fingers crossed you’ll hear back from that agent soon. I don’t know how exactly that works but good luck!
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Currently … July 2017My Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      I think now that the Fringe festival is over my schedule will lighten up again. At least to something more “normal.” I won’t lie. Now that it is a couple days from being over… I’m exhausted. It must all just be hitting me now. I need a serious break.

      Agh I knew you’d be a library lover. The thought of you going in and grabbing five books makes me all sorts of happy. And relaxed – just thinking about it!

  17. Kaylee | 17th Jul 17

    Boy do I feel this. I feel I haven’t given myself the space I want and ultimately need to get out of the messiness. Not to say that it’s been all work and no play; there has been almost too much socialization for my taste. I’ve really been craving a self date but cannot find the time. I feel I am overextending myself but don’t want to turn people down and turn they away . Curse that blurry line between isolation and self-care.

    On a lighter note, whaaat?!! Sourdough AND ghee?! Any chance of you passing along that starter? Kidding aside, getting creative is one of the best ways to slow down. Hope to make the time to spin something on the pottery wheel real soon!
    Kaylee recently posted…Week(End) in Review: Austin BoundMy Profile

    • Cora | 18th Jul 17

      Ahhhh. You know what. Well, 2 things. I think it is important for us to recognize the “phases” we are in and accept that we are just in a certain time in our lives when things are crazy but that it will not last forever and soon it will be over, and we’ll be back to down time again. But also, I think taking care of yourself sometimes involves saying no. Even if it means saying no to seeing a close friend. I can’t be a good friend when I havn’t had enough recharge time.

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