One of the things I like most about Meg’s Week In Review, is how it forces/encourages us to break down our…lives, in a sense…into one week periods. Each weekend I look back on the previous 7 days… only the previous 7 days… and assess what they felt like. How I felt, what I did, how I was affected and therefore, what I am learning. I don’t look back to a month ago, nor do I try to figure out how I’ve grown in a years’ time. I’m planning not for or thinking about the 7 days to come. On a grand scale of things, it really is epic practice in staying in the present moment (a moment in this capacity being one week).
Doing this makes one week matter.
Its not just one week of our lives that we crumble into all the others, resulting in a 52 installment bowl of pudding. That one week – each week – gets the spot light. It gets complete attention and is deserving of everything that it brought us. Like people…. each one is important. Each one matters.
This has absolutely nothing to do with today’s post. I just wanted to get that out.
Last week was a weird one. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, but as I look back and go through my accomplishments, some things are starting to make more sense. Another benefit of the weekly review. I apologize if this ends up being rather “mind dump-y.” Let me try to go through it, and maybe shed some clarity both for you and I.
Holy crap I did a lot this week.
Okay so as I see it, there are valid reasons for this underlying adrenaline I am feeling:
– Coming to the end of training; seeing others get praise and auditions; fear and unknowingness for what comes next
– Performing something extremely vulnerable which meant a lot to me and that I really wanted to go well (both the before and after affects)
– Comparing myself to others and questioning my future success and talent
– More food going into me and new thoughts toward letting go of food cares; it is feeling good, but no doubt this may be part of the “hidden feelings of oncoming danger” that my body is trying to put up some guard against
Its amazing how we (I) will just add and add and add to our “to do lists” in order to distract ourselves from hard feelings. That’s probably some of what I was doing this week. Like, if I just KEEP DOING THINGS maybe these feeligns will go away?? When really, it just piles ontop of the already-there anxieties and doesn’t give whatever-it-is a chance to tell us what it needs to.
It was a great week in many ways. Lots done and new things purchased. A lot of awareness and attempts to figure out this anxiety (hell I got myself a massage, scones, AND retail therapy… come ON!!). I am staying aware through it all. And thus, I am learning, even if I can’t quite get a clear grasp around the issues to
choke them out quiet them down. My attempts to get my feet on the ground havn’t really worked yet, but I think as long as I am staying aware, I will come out the other side.
For now I need to take myself off the rat wheel. Take a step back, sit in silence, feel my feet on the floor and get centered for a new week.
Do you notice a mind-body connection when there are stressors in your life? Do you ever feel like your body knows when you are anxious about something even before your mind does??
When you are anxious do you to try to distract yourself by piling on your to do list?
Retail therapy – a help or hindrance?