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Week In Review: Mood Struggles and Help From Family

Hi guys, 

Last week my parents, my brother, and my sister-in-law came to Toronto to attend my performances. It meant so much having them here and being able to show them what all my hard work has been for… and to just show them what I love to do. 

The shows went really well, and hanging out with my family has been so wonderful. However I still had a really tough week. I just found myself, I think, struggling with a lot of under-currenting feelings. Feelings which I can rationally fight against, but that will inevitably be there underneath regardless: jealousy of others, worry about my future, bitterness, feeling unnoticed. It’s a hard time of year here. We just got our casting for our next shows, people are getting auditions and hearing from agents, and of course it all becomes very vocal. It is a time concentrated with hearing about others’ successes (that you may or may not agree with) and having to keep your own blinders on and confidence intact. All in all I think my self confidence has been triggered, which has been festering externally as a whole bunch of moodiness, anxieties, irritability and rigidity. Which then surfaces in food struggles, food guilt and food anxiety. Those coping mechanisms still rear there heads in at the moment they know I am vulnerable and needing something to latch on to. 

Anyway. To focus on the good, it was extremely helpful to have my family here. My dad always knows the exact right things to say (I don’t know he does it…) and having their help buying meals helped fight against those urges. It doesn’t always take away the sadness or alleviate the drop in mood, but it definitely helps me breathe through it. I’ve been eating really well with them here, and now, by the end of the week, my mood is feeling a lot more grounded and my thoughts more rational.

So to link up with Meg, here’s to the achievements I made in my last week.

Go see Meg and all the other list lovers! 

  • I discovered the be-all-end-all cure for sore throats/colds of any kind:  A shot of pure lemon, ginger and cayenne. 

My throat was feeling anxiously bad leading up to one of my shows last week, so throwing all budget to the wind, I went out and spent $4.50 on this tiny shot of potency. And when I say potent… I mean pooottteeennnntt. I never say this – but this was a two second $4.50 absolutely well spent. The INSTANT this hit my throat – in all its burning glory – I could literally feel all soreness fizz up and out of my entire system. It was…. amazing

Shot of fire. The ultimate toxin depleter

  • I returned to – and finally finished off the last page of – my journal. On a low afternoon, I took myself out for a decaf latte, some homemade treats, and time with uncensored writing.  I ranted. I complained. I uncovered. 

Arman’s 4 ingredient apple pie blondies / decaf cascara latte / journal

  • I consumed probably 1.5 cups of honey

All the tea / lemon / honey

  • I ate sushi. Three nights in a row. 

  • I spent many mornings at my parents’ AirB&B condo relaxing, talking around the table for hours, and embracing carbs my love of simple breakfasts. 

My carb to veggie intake for the week has basically been 9 :0.5

  • With the help of my father, I finally got my bike brake fixed and purchased some new luuuuuube.
  • After our two week run, I closed our performance and hung up my crown as The Fairy King.  

So long kick ass crown

The whole run went extremely well. It was highly received and I loved every moment. 

  •      I published three blog posts, including an in-the-moment, not too glamorous look at some of my current food struggles, and some questions for bloggers – which if you haven’t checked out, I’d be interested in your input! (I’m still trying to figure out how to hear about comment responses…. and instagram hashtags… #techchallenged). 

  • I went to the Art Gallery of Ontario for some culture and very soothing art therapy
  • I celebrated the end of my show with a long, relaxing “home” brunch with my family and Dan

 Brunchin’ for hours

In these last couple days I’ve been very “busy” just spending time with my family, so have left all other activities and tasks to the way side. My sister-in-law had to fly back to Newfoundland, but tonight my parents, my brother and I went out to dinner at my favorite restaurant (stuffffed), had a nice long walk home in the beeeeeautiful weather we were gifted today, and then just sat around the table eating mint chocolate chip ice cream and talking. It was such a lovely evening. I’m so beyond grateful I have family that helps me remember who I am, how good it feels to relax, and to just care about what is important.   

Here’s to a week of being proud of my work, holding onto that inner confidence, loving my passion, and being so, so thankful for family. 

How do you wear blinders and keep your confidence intact? #weekinreview #family #gratitude… Click To Tweet

Tell me,

What were you thankful for this week?

What did you feel passionate about this week? 

How do you wear “blinders” when you are hearing of others’ successes? 

34 COMMENTS

  1. chasetheredgrape | 20th Feb 17

    Yay for family time! Isn’t it wonderful how family can bring a sense of normalcy and calm… Worth it’s weight in gold.
    I am so glad to hear the run of your show went well. I bet you were wonderful πŸ™‚
    With regards to hearing others successes… Urgh it sucks. And you know what, you are perfectly within your rights to rant and speak about how hard it is. Why not me!? I bet you are asking yourself all the time! You just have to have faith that your path is out there and will be revealed to you shortly, if it’s right it will be so. Be confident in yourself, simply focus on you and remember that no matter what happens you did your best. πŸ™‚
    chasetheredgrape recently posted…Friday Favourites + Episode 15 of the CTRG Podcast!My Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      It’s pure magic, I tell you. I don’t even need to understand it. I’m just glad it’s there.
      That’s some excellent advice, Jen. Thank you. I am really working hard, this year especially, to keep that inner confidence inside myself and remember, even when I see others getting what I want, that I do have what it takes. Maybe a new 5 Tips on a Tuesday could be on “How to wear blinders!”

  2. Susie @ Suzlyfe | 20th Feb 17

    Blinders are difficult. I am not the person to ask, because as much as I don’t realize it, I am constantly comparing myself to others, or to my idea of who and what I should be, what my idea of success is. I think that instead of fighting your competitiveness, perhaps see if you can turn that trigger into a positive. How can you utilize those emotions to help you drive forward in a productive way?
    Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…We Fancy : One GORGEOUS February WeekendMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      That’s some pretty neat turn of thought there, Suz. That competitive streak could absolutely be used to put a fire under our bum and just make us more determined to get what we want…. and this can still be done with grace while remaining kind and supportive to others (just with that inner “yeah but I’m just as good…”). πŸ™‚

  3. Emily Swanson | 20th Feb 17

    SO SO thankful that you had precious time with your family. Family is an awesome blessing from God. They truly do help with those recovery fears and overcoming that fear of food and fear of missing exercise. And hmm… One of the way I wear blinders is by writing instead of spending time on social media. Another way is just going outside and thinking and praying and singing and dancing (or whatever!)
    Emily Swanson recently posted…How To Deal With Comparison at The Gym (Kat’s Story)My Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      It’s so crazy how they can do that, isn’t it!? Ugh getting away from social media is an absolute way to get yourself away from all those competive/comparison mind traps. It can be a dangerous place!! I like your idea of singing and dancing. I tend to need to – literally – dance and shake off all those silly thoughts beating me down.

  4. Heather @ Polyglot Jot | 20th Feb 17

    Glad you got some family time in–sometimes thats the best medicine πŸ˜€ Sushi three nights in a row sounds like a dream! Hope youre feeling better now!
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…An Ode to CauliflowerMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      I thought of you with the sushi!! It was heaven.

  5. Kat | 20th Feb 17

    Family time is so important. Maybe it’s because I was away from my family for so long, but it truly is time that I treasure above anything else. I think a lot of times we take advantage of that time, which is probably why I’m so grateful that I had to grow up so far from my family. It really taught me to appreciate the time we have together and to put time with them above all else <3
    Blinders for other's success – oh boy. I'm not the best with that, so care to share some tips for me? lol I'm a work in progress there!
    Kat recently posted…Turmeric & Cranberry White Chocolate BarkMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      We absolutely take advantage of that time. I think I did for many years of my life, and even now when we get together, I HATE if I spend some of it in one of my grumpy moods and take it out on them. The time is too special to use it in that way.
      I’ll share tips as I learn them myself… but maybe we can start with really sexy sunglasses? Aviators?

  6. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar | 20th Feb 17

    At first when I read this post, I thought, “Wow–being in a really competitive environment like that sounds really tough. I don’t know if I can relate.” But in some ways I can. Both graduating from high school and college, I was in the honors program, and I remember a lot of my really talented friends were getting offers for really good jobs and from really good schools. And I was like: I’m….going to work at summer camp? I know you’re not going to work at summer camp. Unless you decide that’s your heart’s desire. πŸ˜‰ Anyways, I’m just saying that it was hard not to see other people’s successes and wonder how I would ever add up or be as good as them.
    That is a kickass crown. I’m so glad your show went well and that your family came to see it. πŸ™‚
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…Week in Review: Here We Go AgainMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      Joyce, you can absolutely relate to this. I think everyone can, at some point in their lives, no matter their dreams/goals/jobs/living situation. Maybe not summer camp, but this summer when I was just working at a little small town coffee shop? Knowing my friends were in Toronto working city jobs and pursing their careers? Oh you bet I had those feelings.

  7. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 20th Feb 17

    I’m pretty sure lube and your father should never be used in the same sentence. That being said, I’m so glad he was there for you and I’m happy you go to engulf yourself with family during a tough week.

    As you get older, your self confidence will grow and the comparison stuff will lessen. Promise.

    I need to try this miracle throat cure. I’m on it.

    Your crown is awesome. I think you should steal it and wear it around the apartment.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Week in Review: Sunshine, Social and Sickness (#71)My Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      Oh dear god.
      Ahhhhh man.
      Now I have to go back and edit that sentence.
      Never again.

      ….let’s just stick with the image of me in a kick ass crown, taking shots.

  8. Miss Polkadot | 20th Feb 17

    Families. They are – the arguments and rough moments in between – somehow magical, no? Intuitively knowing just what we need in those low or fragile moments. I’m so happy you had your family’s support during what must have been a both physically and – as you mentioned – emotionally straining week. Congratulations on finishing two successful weeks of performances. I hope you can keep the feeling of accomplishment that I’m sure you’re experiencing now during those hard times of applying and playing the enormously draining waiting game. As much as I wish I had some good advice on how to blind out comparison it’s been getting the best of me during the past months, too. Let’s say food hasn’t been an entirely easy issue for me, either.
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Rinse. Repeat. Rest.My Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      There will always be rough moments and arguments with families, no matter the closeness. But amidst those, yes, there is such magic there that we need to continually not take for granted. I hope you continue to do so, especially with those walks and lunches with your Mom and time with Little P.
      I am trying hard to keep those feelings of accomplishment. I’m sorry the comparison trap is getting you down lately. Its crazy how those feelings can seep into us and somehow turn themselves onto food. But we have to remember these things are separate. What we eat has nothing to do with our successes, dreams, goals, achievements, etc. Thinking of you and hoping you are having a good week.

  9. Lyss | 20th Feb 17

    Family time is such a blessing. I always feel refreshed and calm after spending time with my family. My mom just gets me!
    One thing I am grateful for this week? My education!! I know I am super super stressed with exams- but it is a blessing I can even go to college!

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      Yep. That’s the magic of parents…. they will just get us, even if we try to fool them!!
      Lyss that is AMAZING for you to say!! It is also so rare. Education is amazing, but its not until now in my later 20s that I think I really really can say that. Yay!!!

  10. Jamie@TheMomGene | 20th Feb 17

    This whole post makes me want to be a part of your family and eat brunch! It sounds like they came at the perfect time. Comparison is hard in any area of life, but I think your industry might be the hardest. In a lot of ways it has to be about ego because you’re selling your self and your talents, but at the same time you have to show yourself compassion. I think you are doing the best you can in this hard interim. Today I am grateful for my mom, who was willing to help me take all 3 kids to see Frozen today on Charlie’s day off from school. It was not easy, but it was an adventure and a memory.
    Jamie@TheMomGene recently posted…The Writing LifeMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      You would be welcome at our family brunch table any day!! You hit it on the head. My industry is brutal, if you let it. You have to have a really solid head on your shoulders to be able to hold on to that inner confidence . Something I did NOT have in my early 20s… when I let the industry break me…but now that I’m older I am so glad that I’ve worked to gain this confidence and wisdom to wear those blinders (even if it is still hard).
      Yay for your Mom!!! Two super-moms together.

  11. Ellie Pell | 20th Feb 17

    I had a shitty week, so the one thing I’m grateful for right now is my job. At least if I can’t do anything else right, I can make money and just live. I spent the weekend close to tears and just feel like I’m falling behind. It will get better, but it sucks for now. The biggest problem, my mind and self is the biggest critic :-/

    This post makes me a bit happier because your performances went well. You are great Cora!
    Ellie Pell recently posted…Broken Treadmills and Snow RunsMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      Oh Ellie. I’m sorry to hear this. No kidding you had a shitty week. You must have just wanted some days to end. But of course that’s hard when we can’t get away from our own brains – which are most likely the things causing us the most heart ache. I hope this week has shown you some kindness, and you’ve been able to find a more compassionate mindset to remind you how KICK ASS you are. And that you – THE Ellie – take no life crap from nobody. Email anytime you want to flat out rant, K?

  12. Casey the College Celiac | 20th Feb 17

    Last week, probably my favorite part was some long walks by myself in the gorgeous weather that has been hitting Colorado lately. And I can definitely relate to the struggle of “blinders.” I’m still in the “purgatory” of waiting to hear from grad schools and, so far, I’ve only gotten 3 rejections…I still have 8 to go and I’m trying to focus on being optimistic and positive. I know there are sites I could use to track when other people hear back but, for me, I think that’d cause more harm than good. So I’m wearing “blinders” by just focusing on my own mail…and letting time to the rest.
    Casey the College Celiac recently posted…Bright Breakfast Buddha Bowl with Frontier Bites (Gluten Free, Vegan Option)My Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      Oh man that sounds wonderful. Even with our slight raise in temperature, walks outside are already lifting my mood.
      I think that is a really, really smart choice Casey. The more you can shut out those outside triggers, the more you can focus on yourself, your own ambitions and your own confidence. All that outside information can just create epic novels of drama in our heads. There ain’t room for that in your writing brain.

  13. Kristy from Southern In Law | 21st Feb 17

    I am so glad you’ve had your family around lately!

    This week I am thankful for Jesse – who loves me despite my craziness and who doesn’t complain when my schedule is jam packed and we only get two hours or so to spend with each other of an evening – but at the same time who bought concert tickets for Saturday so I could see some of my favourite bands and we could have a fun night out!
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Recipe: Cheesy Quinoa Zucchini FrittersMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      Woooooo Jesse for the WIN!! Now even I am thankful for Jesse!! You deserve it, girl.

  14. GiGi Eats | 21st Feb 17

    MUST try that sore throat remedy if/when I ever have one… But maybe I can swap in lime, since I prefer that over lemon πŸ˜‰ Lime juice the morning after a drunken evening….. That’s a hang over cure, just in case you didn’t know! hehe!

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      When I went to get my second shot, the first thing the girl said (as I was gushing over its magic powers) was, “anytime I’m hungover, I take one of these in the morning and bam, I’m good to go.” So yes…. it really is the magic cure!!

  15. Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table | 21st Feb 17

    I’m so glad you’re getting to relax with your family. That’s the best after giving 110% for so long. But… do you get to keep the crown?!
    Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…Mediterranean Scallop Cauliflower Shell TacosMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      Sigh. I wasn’t stealthy enough to steal the crown. I’m going to have to find some leather and make my own.

  16. Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy | 22nd Feb 17

    Ahh I loved reading this about your family. That is so special that they were able to attend your performances. Having friends and family close by always helps me when my anxiety/nerves are high. And you had some delicious food! I also wish I could attend those cafe’s with you for some cathartic writing and treats. And that cayenne/lemon/ginger shot – now you have peaked my interest!
    Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy recently posted…Wellness Wednesday: Promoting Heart HealthMy Profile

    • Cora | 22nd Feb 17

      It really was so special. I so appreciated having them there, in more ways than one.
      I think you should go find yourself one of those shots at a juice bar!!

  17. Kaylee | 27th Feb 17

    Art therapy is the best! I’ve got to get myself out to a museum soon.
    Thankful for this internship as tiring as it is. Also filled with extreme gratitude for my family. I can completely relate to your love of spending time with family even if it’s just for a little bit. I’m curious, how does it make you feel after ending a role? Do you get a “hangover”? I get extremely attached to characters in books and can’t even imagine what that situation would be like.
    Kaylee recently posted…Week in Review: LessonsMy Profile

    • Cora | 1st Mar 17

      Very good question. It depends on the role and length of the show. Usually, I feel that there were enough shows and that I explored my character fully enough that I feel “ready” to let them go. Then they are just a nice memory. But if it was a character that I really loved or had special empathy for, I actually miss them… like you would a friend. Though, there is always a part of them that stays with me. Does that sound crazy?

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