Last week my parents, my brother, and my sister-in-law came to Toronto to attend my performances. It meant so much having them here and being able to show them what all my hard work has been for… and to just show them what I love to do.
The shows went really well, and hanging out with my family has been so wonderful. However I still had a really tough week. I just found myself, I think, struggling with a lot of under-currenting feelings. Feelings which I can rationally fight against, but that will inevitably be there underneath regardless: jealousy of others, worry about my future, bitterness, feeling unnoticed. It’s a hard time of year here. We just got our casting for our next shows, people are getting auditions and hearing from agents, and of course it all becomes very vocal. It is a time concentrated with hearing about others’ successes (that you may or may not agree with) and having to keep your own blinders on and confidence intact. All in all I think my self confidence has been triggered, which has been festering externally as a whole bunch of moodiness, anxieties, irritability and rigidity. Which then surfaces in food struggles, food guilt and food anxiety. Those coping mechanisms still rear there heads in at the moment they know I am vulnerable and needing something to latch on to.
Anyway. To focus on the good, it was extremely helpful to have my family here. My dad always knows the exact right things to say (I don’t know he does it…) and having their help buying meals helped fight against those urges. It doesn’t always take away the sadness or alleviate the drop in mood, but it definitely helps me breathe through it. I’ve been eating really well with them here, and now, by the end of the week, my mood is feeling a lot more grounded and my thoughts more rational.
So to link up with Meg, here’s to the achievements I made in my last week.
Go see Meg and all the other list lovers!
My throat was feeling anxiously bad leading up to one of my shows last week, so throwing all budget to the wind, I went out and spent $4.50 on this tiny shot of potency. And when I say potent… I mean pooottteeennnntt. I never say this – but this was a two second $4.50 absolutely well spent. The INSTANT this hit my throat – in all its burning glory – I could literally feel all soreness fizz up and out of my entire system. It was…. amazing.
Shot of fire. The ultimate toxin depleter
Arman’s 4 ingredient apple pie blondies / decaf cascara latte / journal
All the tea / lemon / honey
My carb to veggie intake for the week has basically been 9 :0.5
So long kick ass crown
The whole run went extremely well. It was highly received and I loved every moment.
Brunchin’ for hours
In these last couple days I’ve been very “busy” just spending time with my family, so have left all other activities and tasks to the way side. My sister-in-law had to fly back to Newfoundland, but tonight my parents, my brother and I went out to dinner at my favorite restaurant (stuffffed), had a nice long walk home in the beeeeeautiful weather we were gifted today, and then just sat around the table eating mint chocolate chip ice cream and talking. It was such a lovely evening. I’m so beyond grateful I have family that helps me remember who I am, how good it feels to relax, and to just care about what is important.
Here’s to a week of being proud of my work, holding onto that inner confidence, loving my passion, and being so, so thankful for family.How do you wear blinders and keep your confidence intact? #weekinreview #family #gratitude #copingmechanism Click To Tweet
What were you thankful for this week?
What did you feel passionate about this week?
How do you wear “blinders” when you are hearing of others’ successes?
I am 200% not a relationship expert. Let’s get that out right now…