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Week In Review: Pushing Through Lethargy

Last week wasn’t that fun guys. 

I’m just feeling so. bloody. tired. Physically, like crud. My body doesn’t want to move. All week I felt heavy and could barely keep my eyes open – even at work standing up. And with that, my mood has been pretty low. Motivation and care is nearly zilch. I don’t know if it was more the weather (rainy and cloudy all week),  my daily 5:30 am wake ups, taking on some negative energy at work, or my goddamn complete lack of digestion that was the main culprit to my lethargy. Probably an unfortunate mix of all four, though I feel like that last one – my digestion (or lack thereof) – is playing a larger part than I’d like it to play.

I just felt full. all. week. Like… nothing’s moving.

Although, what comes first? I know that when I am feeling low I also feel really full and not hungry. I also know that when I am taking on negative energies, everything feels heavy and my stomach physically goes into a knot.  Its a crazy, but oh so prevalent, mind-body connection.

So, yeah. This physical heaviness dragged me down hella hard. And then of course, eating when you aren’t hungry just brings up a lot of other depressive emotions. Though ironically, I’m really too tired to listen to those voices or care that all I’m eating is bread and sugar. And I’m too tired to stress about or make choices, which is oddly nice. Funny how the tables turn in that way.

Apart from the possible mind connection part of it, the physical component does make sense. My counsellor and I had a good session about the difference between being “bloated,” and being “full,” and after she literally had to explain the physical feelings of each one (for how the hell would I know – miss zero digestion or hunger cues) we decided that I was actually feeling “bloated.” Not full. Bloated meaning – my digestive system just isn’t passing anything through and so things are staying in their place. My digestive system isn’t used to sending out those enzymes needed to break down certain things or certain quantities, so it is going to take some time for those little workers to come back from their hibernation. I know that the weight gain and “re-feeding” process (I always hated that term) comes with a phase of fatigue. My body is doing double duty, after all, to try to digest AND begin the healing process for whatever is damaged in there. It just… sucks. For both my body and spirit. But I know I have to push through and continue “fueling the fire” in order to get it to start burning. I just hope things start moving soon.   

So…I was basically a zombie from Wednesday on, without the energy to even open my computer screen once home in the evening. So there was a lack of blog reading and I did not get out the post or two I had wanted to. I just couldn’t.

But as the weekend came, I found time to get some things done and give myself some space to revive. By the end of the week I did experience a few simple moments of authentic joy that lifted my spirit and made me feel a bit lighter…in all sense. “Its the little things” bears repeating.

Week-In-Review-Button-Side-Bar-3

So with that lengthy catch up on how things are going – or not going – for me, let’s take a look back on last week to the things I accomplished and the moments that made me smile (focusing more on my “weekly goals”). Head on over to Meg’s to see what the party is about and join in on the listing. 

Off to “To Do List”

  • Got to the bank and made my deposit
  • Paid my rent (Toronto apartment)
  • Saw my nutritionist and counsellor
  • Picked up my newly sized ring.  
  • Got passport pictures taken and filled out my passport forms. God that’s an annoying process. 

Movement, Meditation and Getting Outside

  • Played fetch with this little gremlin. Authentic mood lifter right there.

Hestia fetch

Hestia fetch 2

Blog meet Hestia, Hestia meet blog 

  • Went for two nice walks: one early in the morning to the beach, where I explored and stretched and took some photos, the other in the evening with above mentioned crazy – but wonderful – dog.

anicinabe morning

Rising with the sun

  • Went to two yoga classes. One which included dancing
  • Had one good mediation session on my own plus the ones thrown in during yoga and my early morning walk

anicinabe morning 2

Stretching on the grass in the early morning breeze

  • Journaled every morning before work

cheese bagel

The bagels have made a come back. 

Music and School

  • Took advantage of some home alone time and alone driving time to do some singing out loud. 
  • Spent one morning doing school exercises
  • Taught the Sunday School children at my parents’ church a dance and a song
  • Began my work on my script for school. One and a half “okay” sessions of some loose collecting of research material. Really hard to get started, especially with the lack of energy sinking my motivation. But hey, the document has a title and the ball has got rolling, even if slightly. 

Social and Other

  • Took a lot of deep breathes and survived a difficult week with a new employee – who will not be returning next week. #drama
  • Checked off my “social” box by going out for a beer with a group for my brother’s 29th birthday
  • Got through the Hunger Games and half of the movie Skyfall without falling asleep
  • Got started on two other blog posts for – hopefully – this week. Wrote this post twice because wordpress and the internet suck. Responded to comments. 
  • Okay, at the very beginning of the week when I had some energy, I made a pretty damn awesome dinner. I made my own falafel bar!! Everything from scratch. Homemade falafel balls (which I took from this recipe but my internet was down so had to go by experimentation/memory), pickled turnips and beets (customary in traditional falafel), all the veg, and two homemade dressings: a cucumber-yogurt-dill and a tahini-lemon.  AND to go on the side, my first “socca” (chickpea flatbread). A big check off my foodie buckletlist for that one.

falafel spread

falafel spread 2

falafel spread 3
falafel dinner

Homemade Socca! So Easy. So Delicious. 

  • Made a chocolate pie for my brother’s birthday. I was experimenting with two different recipes, but in my hazy brain fog, forgot two pretty main ingredients. Blegh. It actually still turned out really well, but still – baker fail on my part.

chocolate pie

reid's bday

Token brother sister shot. To remind you I actually exist.

I think my priority and goal for this next week is to just take it easy. To truly relax. No additional bouts of activity. More just coming home and reading and writing. Maybe even more sleeping?  It’s a really hard thing for me to do, and its amazing the amount I can push myself through even when feeling exhausted. But my body is obviously begging me to give it complete and utter rest – even more than I’ve been thinking I’ve been giving it. I will see how I am feeling at the end of next week. Hopefully more revived and recovered. And hopefully my stomach will get in a better mood as well. I’m currently laying here with a heat pad on my belly under my hoody. Not the most attractive look. 

If you made it through this post – I thank you. And I thank you for always being an open “ear.” 

Pushing through a week of lethargy and slowed digestion. Still there are always moments that can… Click To Tweet

Tell me,

What activities help make you feel lighter and give you energy?

What made you smile last week??

 

 

39 COMMENTS

  1. Kate@Mindfoodly | 6th Jun 16

    Oh I know your pain, I hate the stupid stomach bloating that seems to be there at the most inconvenient of times! But I suppose its present for a reason- we haven’t treated our bodies well previously.

    I often try to just distract myself and not be too harsh with myself- sometimes I watch a movie, listen to a podcast or take a hot shower.

    Hope your feeling better x

    • Cora | 8th Jun 16

      Its definitely there with good reason… unfortunately. Though at least that helps us to know we are not crazy or doing anything wrong.
      Distraction is something I’m needing to rely on a lot this week. Trying to keep myself busy after dinner especially – with homework or blogging or a movie – anything to pass the time and take the focus away. Thank you. I hope you are doing well and having positive week!

  2. Sarah @ BucketListTummy | 6th Jun 16

    A falafel bar? YUM. And that chocolate cake looks awesome! I love that picture of you and your brother – I like seeing your pretty smile! I have those weeks where I am just always tired and lethargic, no matter what I do. I hope this week will be better at work without that employee. I know the bloating must be uncomfortable, but once you’re through this temporary difficult time, your body will remember how to release enzymes and speed things through. Just like when riding a bike, it comes back to you quickly. So proud of your forward progress, Cora.
    Sarah @ BucketListTummy recently posted…Lemon Tahini Lentil DipMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Man I would have loved to have shared this falafel bar experience with you. Definitely something to repeat for a party of friends.
      That’s a nice reminder (though I wish it wasn’t so) that everyone – regardless of situation – has lethargic weeks, and sometimes theres not much rhyme or reason to it.

  3. katalysthealth | 6th Jun 16

    Happy birthday to your brother! And that cake looks freaking amazing.
    I’m sorry you had such a tough week last week. Ive been feeling drained as well – physically, mentally and emotionally – but Im fairly sure its from the 100 degree heat. Today is a new day and a new week though – so get hyped for a GREAT week girlie <3
    katalysthealth recently posted…Watermelon Lime Chia PuddingMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Blegh I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling so similar! The hardest is almost the emotional and mental part. Then even if you feeling are physically okay, its next to impossible to get yourself up and moving.
      But YES you are RIGHT and this week is going to be good. For both of us. I’ve demanded it. <3

  4. Susie @ Suzlyfe | 6th Jun 16

    I hope you are feeling more peppy this week! Every now and then our bodies just need to crash. But can I say that you still got way more done than I would, even in my most peppy weeks? #beast
    Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…NOW Foods Immersion and EPIC Giveaway!My Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      I really think it looks a lot more than it was – I’m pretty sure you are beast in your own hella productive way.

  5. Emily Swanson | 6th Jun 16

    YES, take it easy Cora. I can personally testify to recovery being a process that takes so much patience and care and grace. It often seems discouraging, but there is so much worth and preciousness to life, and I am so grateful that you continue to fight. I’m glad our bodies do heal, and I am praying so much for your healing and encouragement for your heart. I can personally testify to lots of lethargy, to my body just not ‘working right’, and to my body healing SO MUCH. God has been so merciful.
    Emily Swanson recently posted…Lies ED Tells You..My Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      <3. Takes a lot of patience and trust.

  6. Heather @ Polyglot Jot | 6th Jun 16

    Im sorry you havent been feeling well…thats so hard! Yoga and stretching help me when im feeling blehhh. Take it easy though, we’ll all be here when you come back. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

    Thinking of you! <3
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…Prep it Good #1My Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Thank you, Heather <3. Stretching and easy walks are definitely feeling nice.

  7. Amanda @ Real Life Recovery Diary | 6th Jun 16

    We need to be best friends ASAP if it means I’d get perks like that falafel bar or that pie 😀 Your culinary skills never fail to impress me girl!

    I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so weighed down and blah lately… I can totally relate. Something I recommend would be getting lost in a good book to distract yourself from negative feelings and rest. Also, bubble baths, coloring, and stretching all help me feel good (particularly light yoga for that uncomfortable “nothing is moving” thing!)

    I do have to give a high five to your therapist though. Realizing the difference between being bloated and being full is HUGE. I often think I’m stuffed and can’t understand why I want to keep eating but then I realize I’m not full, I’m just bloated because my digestive system isn’t moving as fast as it should yet. And ironically the only way to make that better is by eating more! It’s tough to do in the moment but necessary and I think the fact that you’ve realized the bloating vs. full thing is a HUGE step.

    Sending happy vibes your way! xox
    Amanda @ Real Life Recovery Diary recently posted…treat yourself the way you would treat others: a post for world eating disorder dayMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Man oh man I would loveeee to have a dinner party with you.
      Distraction is huge right now. Losing myself in some homework or reading or writing is pretty necessary to help me pass the time and not focus on the body discomfort. And light walks and stretching are feeling nice, though do not really take it away.
      Feeling bloated is so weird eh? My mind is still hungry and wants to keep eating, but my stomach is like NO WAY.

  8. gracefulcoffee | 6th Jun 16

    The pie you made for your brother looks really yummy, Cora! I hope this week you feel less lethargic <3

    Blessings,
    Edye | http://gracefulcoffee.wordpress.com
    gracefulcoffee recently posted…International Giveaway: DSC Designs Shop $25 Gift CardMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Thanks Eyde – always love your input!

  9. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 6th Jun 16

    I’m sorry last week was a rough one, although it sounds like you know exactly why and the ultimate solution for it: give your body lots of love and rest and be patient while your digestive system catches up to the new and healthier Cora. You are doing awesome. Truly, just keep on going.

    I love yoga which incorporates dancing. I took one class where the instructor played and sang an acoustic version of Outcast’s Hey Ya. It was amazing.

    Way to go on the kitchen shenanigans, the bagel love (I’m right there with ya on that one) and the morning journaling. Those are all fantastic things.

    Last but certainly not least, Happy Birthday Brother and hello Hestia. It’s lovely to meet you.

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Oh man. That yoga teacher should win an award. Hey YA.
      Thanks Meg 🙂

  10. Kristy @ Southern In Law | 6th Jun 16

    Ick. I feel you on the crappy digestion. When I first found out I had coeliac disease my stomach pretty much decided it had called it quits on doing anything other than causing me pain and I constantly felt full and heavy and bloated and bleh (because I probably was! Everything was just sitting there) and it really is such an awful feeling.

    Good on you for doing what was best for your body and continuing to put fuel in the tank! It’s hard when you feel that way as it goes against all of the “intuitive eating” (I learnt that is IMPOSSIBLE with GI issues) guidelines and goes against what everyone else tells you – but you can’t run a car without fuel and you can’t expect your body to run on empty either.

    Big huge yes to homemade falafel! That’s on my to-do list this week!
    Kristy @ Southern In Law recently posted…Recipe: Healthy Meatballs in a Creamy Mushroom SauceMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Ugggghhh you definitely know exactly what I’m talking about. Its just an awful feeling. I hope it doesn’t plague you too much anymore?
      Intuitive eating is – sadly – totally impossible with a GI issue like yours, or with a history of disordered eating. So we are just special, ya?

  11. Kate | 6th Jun 16

    I’m dying over that homemade socca! I must try that myself.
    I’m sorry it’s beeen a not so great week. I hope you get some rest and even take a day off if you need to. I know you’ll see better digestion days if you keep on fighting through it. Trust the process.
    Despite the blahs, this looked like a really fun week with lots of good eats and company!
    Kate recently posted…Physical to mental healthMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      I think you’d love socca! Its ridiculously easy. Just like your homemade tortillas but with an awesome unique texture.

  12. Miss Polkadot | 6th Jun 16

    Life, hm? Throwing us curveballs when we thought we’d given ourselves the rest we needed and talked about all the negative feelings that had been bottling up. I have noticed that mentally hard times affect my digestion, too, though. Maybe it’s similar to the “have to go through rain before seeing a rainbow” phenomenon? If you know what I mean and given it’s pretty late I might not make much sense.
    Bloating. Ick. I wish I had that one magical trick to make it go away but alas … nothing. I do find that walks help to get things moving, though. One of the reasons why I go on them every day. Truth.
    I’m sorry it’s directing a particular lot at you right now. Especially since your posts are telling how dedicated you are to healing yourself. Just saying “hang in there, everything will be fine” would feel so wrong when what I really want to do is give you the biggest hug and lend you an ear any time. Well, at least the latter I can do: I’m always just a mail away and since you listened to my rambles before feel completely free to share your worries and anxiety, too.
    On a last note: hi to Hestia! I hope she’ll keep brightening your mood on those particularly hard days. Fingers crossed this week will look at least a little better for you already!
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Keeping up the conversations.My Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Oh touche. Life is just never finished testing us…
      Your walks definitely have many good benefits backing them up. They felt really nice for me last week.
      Even those few words of empathy and support mean the world – truly – though of course I would love a real person coffee date. And I do take hugs.
      Hope your week is treating you well so far miss <3

  13. Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar | 7th Jun 16

    Hey, Cora,
    I still have a really hard time distinguishing between full and bloated. I try to use my intellect (‘I know logically this was a reasonable serving of food’) and my other hunger cues, such as my throat, and my ability to concentrate. I often feel hunger in my throat before I feel it in my belly.
    And yes, it sucks. Especially during the refeeding process when you have to eat through it. Keep at it! I find a heating pad to the tummy works wonders.
    That picture of you and your brother is so dang cute! It’s nice to see your face on the blog 🙂 Happy birthday to your brother!
    Joyce @ The Hungry Caterpillar recently posted…Week in Review: What I Didn’t DoMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Hunger in your throat!? Interesting. I’ve never heard of this I don’t think…
      Yes. It sucks. But you know what, even just saying that makes it a bit easier to handle and just “pull up the boots and push through.” And having that heat pad near by…
      Hope you’re having a nice week 🙂

  14. Ellie | 7th Jun 16

    If I feel like poop, I get outside or read something light hearted and funny. Sometimes I cheat and read stories of incredible things, sign change.org petitions or text a friend. Usually if I feel effective, that makes the other stuff seem less bad. It’s not a cure, but it helps.
    I hope you feel better this week 🙂
    Ellie recently posted…Training [05/29-06/05]My Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      So true – doing something that makes me feel effective, kind or productive in some way really can make me feel lighter. Thanks Ellie.

  15. Elizabeth Brimage | 7th Jun 16

    Oh man, I can totally relate to the lethargy. The whole concept of ‘rest’ to me was foreign, and as well as learning how to eat again, I felt like I was learning how to rest. I still find it difficult. The whole process of an ED is exhausting for a body and soul to go through, and I personally believe it takes way longer than we’d all hope it does to recover, and there’s an enormous debt of rest to be repaid. I guess it all ties in with just being kind to my body and soul where it’s at (again, this is so difficult for me! Especially in a society that takes pride in doing all the things!!) and being ok with ‘doing nothing much’. Being ok with not being up to adulting sometimes. I’m still healing, so I’m trying to make that the priority so my physical and mental health can be a strong foundation to build upon in the future. But yeah, it’s hard to be alone with my thoughts and feelings and just sitting still sometimes. You’re in my prayers, gal. And honestly, you’re amazing.
    p.s. I used to teach children’s church, too! Oh my heart…

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Oh boy is that part ever hard. But it is obvious how dedicated you have been, and continue to be, toward your health. It does take a long time… longer than anyone (including ourselves) realize, and we can’t get angry at the time our bodies need to take to get us back to strength. We put them there, after all.
      Not being up to “adulting.” Oh man I hear you. Sometimes those small tasks feel more daunting than going for a run.

  16. cookiesnchem | 7th Jun 16

    What is socca? That looks awesome.
    You and your brother look similar! 🙂 Two awesome people. Sibling time is the best!
    cookiesnchem recently posted…Etsy Waterloo MarketMy Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      It is a flatbread/tortilla made with chickpea flour! It was SO good! Such awesome texture.
      Haha… I”ve never heard anyone say we look alike! My other brother, yes, but not this one!

  17. Stephanie Leduc | 8th Jun 16

    It was kind of nice seeing a picture of you, you’re really quite pretty too!!
    The falafel supper is on another level, congrats for making that!!
    Although it was a tougher week, I really hope this one is going better, it’ll be up and down for sure, but at least you’re riding the wave quite well.
    Have an awesome week!!
    Stephanie Leduc recently posted…Top 3 Friday #5: All the Food and Starting a new Internship!My Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      Haha.. me in my oversized hoody and zero make up… I really spruce myself up for the blog photos ;).
      Thanks Steph – hope your week is going well 🙂

  18. What I Ate Wednesday: What is "Time" Anyways? | 8th Jun 16

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  19. Aubrey @ Clusterforked | 8th Jun 16

    Although it sucks that you are feeling so fatigued right now it may be a blessing in disguise; It’s really great to hear you’re working on giving your body some much needed R&R. In all honesty, the things you are doing at the moment sound like plenty to fill your plate with right now. That bloated feeling is awful, it’s something I am all too familiar with which STILL comes and goes but it does improve with time – promise.
    It’s so nice to see a recent photo of you and really put a face to the words!
    Those falafels look great btw.
    Aubrey @ Clusterforked recently posted…What Have You Gained?My Profile

    • Cora | 9th Jun 16

      After last week I totally saw how even the amount I did – though it didn’t feel like “much” at the time – was too much. Hence why this week I’ve been on my bum nonstop outside of work.
      Great to hear the bloating continues on… aha. But I do trust it’s going to get much better.
      Thanks Aubrey.

  20. chasetheredgrape | 9th Jun 16

    Love the picture of you and your brother – made me smile! 🙂
    Urgh digestion… This stage sucks… I hate that feeling that your body is just holding on to everything…. But it does pass. Both literally and figuratively!
    Hope this week is going better for you though!

  21. Summer in Review: The Foodie Bucketlist and Recovery Edition - mylittletablespoon | 7th Sep 16

    […] ALL the no bake desserts: Yeaaahh. I’d have to say check. I think any time we were having over company or having a family dinner my mom asked me to provide the dessert, which provided me many opportunities to try a new no-bake something. Favorites that went on repeat included this fudge and variations of this berry cheesecake, plus various lemon bars and my own pie experiments.  […]

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