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WIAW: "Not Proud" - mylittletablespoon

WIAW: “Not Proud”

Yesterday I posted a recipe that, I must say, I felt pretty proud of. Unique, colorful, and oozing with nutrition and probiotics. Sooo many good things for your body.

Today, however, I am choosing to show you the “other side.” The side that I… for some strange, sad, and irrational reason… do not feel “proud” of.

Thanks to the creator Jenn and our host for the week, Meg for helping me celebrate one full day of eats.

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When did FOOD become a way of measuring pride?

Why is it that we find it easier to ‘advertise’ our meals or snacks when we are eating certain things, and harder to admit when we eat others?

Breakfast:
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Sausage Breakfast Sandwich + Apple

I’m “not proud” that I actually quite like sausage breakfast sandwiches. And that I still have a couple stashed away in my freezer from when I worked at Starbucks and got them for free.

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We feel proud of eating certain things. Maybe those things are the “fad” product of the moment; the recent “health trend,” the “scientific breakthrough” or whatever Dr. Oz has most recently held up on a pedestal. We feel proud because… we feel we are doing something good for our bodies? Because we feel we others may look to us with aspiration?   Because we are simply doing something that others have labeled as …”good?”

Lunch:

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Roast beef + havarti + mayo + dijon 

I’m “not proud” that I really quite like deli meat. And that a lot of the time I choose whatever is the least expensive instead of what is the most natural or nitrate or chemical free                                  (school budget sometimes >> environment)

 

So then what about when we don’t feel proud?

Why do we not feel proud…maybe even guilty or embarrassed… for eating certain things?  Why do we sometimes hesitate to admit what we had for breakfast or what we ate on our couch before going to bed? Or why do we laugh it off in a way that advertises our guilt before anyone even has the chance to respond? Why is it easier to order our favorite cafe donut when alone in the car rather than in front of a group of co-workers?

How have our food choices gained so much control over what we think of ourselves?

I may not feel “proud” of many things I like to eat and spend money on.  I may not feel  “proud”  to admit some of my favorite foods. I used to just not eat these things. In fact, I completely just convinced myself I did not like them. The thought of eating and enjoying these things not only made me feel ashamed, but I fully believed that having someone else see me eat these things would mean they would immediately judge me. Like they would instantaneously have a new opinion of me. A much lowered opinion.

Afternoon Snack:

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Grocery store pumpkin pie + milky chai

I’m not proud that I sometimes choose to buy packaged treats from cafes or grocery stores instead of  my own healthy, homemade baked goods which I have packed in my bag.   

 

I am very passionate about healthy living. For whole food nourishment, clean eating, organic this and fair trade that, and definitely for environmental concerns. These are both my beliefs and my passions. And yes, a lot of people see this as being part of who I am. I like to think I eat this way the majority of the time naturally and because its truly what I love. But this doesn’t mean I don’t love take out. Or processed food from a box. Or that I sometimes eat foods that contain – duh duh duh – nitrates.

I am not “proud” that I am no longer vegetarian. But I like meat. This does not mean I am no less passionate about the environment and reducing our carbon footprint and gas emissions. This does not lessen how much I loveeee eating and cooking vegetarian fare.

I’m not “proud” that I like store bought baking… white flour and all. But this does not lessen how much I love experimenting with vegan or gluten free baking at home and sneak vegetables into absolutely everything I can.

For fun.

Dinner:

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Kale salad + steamed kabocha + chicken sausage

I’m not “proud” that many of my dinners are very random.. eclectic…#strangebutgood…and more often than not thrown into random tupperware containers. 

 

Now… not only do I eat these things that I had once convinced myself I did not like, but I challenge myself every day to eat whatever I’m eating in public. Whether it is a salad like you saw yesterday, or kraft dinner thrown into a tupperware.

But even still, that little twinge of embarrassment creeps up to try and tell me I’ve done something wrong.

Evening Snack:

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Carrot Cake + stewed apples with cinnamon + dark chocolate

I’m not “proud” that the majority of my sugar intake happens in the evening, and yes,  far past  the glorified “8 pm.”  Or that the only real movement I do afterwards is moving from my couch to my bed. 

 

But the fact is…

The only question we should be asking ourselves when those thoughts of embarrassment or guilt are trying to get at us is…

“Does this make ME… a bad person?” 

“Does this change my worth as a human being?”

The answer?

No.

Your food choices do not control whether or not you are a good person. They have nothing to do with your worth. Choosing Burger King over a Panera salad does not dictate your kindness or generosity, your empathy for others, your quirky laugh, your passions and desires for life, or your will to care for those you love.

These are the things that dictate who you are.

So I say I’m “not proud”, but really, I am proud. I am proud to eat real food. I’m proud to eat what my body is craving. I am proud to bring my take out or fast food to work or class and eat it, tall and strong, in front of others. I’m proud to show people that I want to nourish my body and give it what it wants. I’m proud of saying,

“Hey, you. You can be quiet now,”

…to that little voice inside telling me I should feel embarrassed.

Food is food. Don’t let it affect your worth as a human being. And be PROUD.

Tell me,

Have you or do you ever feel embarrassed about eating a certain food? Shout it out loud and tell me why you LOVE it. 

 

COMMENT

  1. Kate Bennett | 18th Nov 15

    Your honesty is so refreshing… Here’s my take. I say be PROUD of your balanced life. Thank you eat superfood salads but also enjoy convenience foods that make your life easier as a student!
    I’d enjoy all of your meals. I’ve always been a sausage > bacon girl, by the way 😀

  2. Julia @ Lord Still Loves Me | 18th Nov 15

    I love those sandwiches from Starbucks! Actually, I love all of them- SO GOOD. I think I am going to the Starbucks on campus for lunch today because I am now craving one of those.

    You deserve to be proud of everything you’ve accomplished.

    • mylittletablespoon | 18th Nov 15

      Thanks, lady. Yep they are deeeeelicious. Definitely miss getting the discount on them. ENJOY!!

  3. Torry @ A World Without Wheat | 18th Nov 15

    I’m not proud that I sometimes eat Cheetos for lunch. I am not proud that sometimes I eat the whole box of deluxe mac and cheese for dinner. I am not proud that on my tacos last night I added a second scoop of sour cream. But then I remember I worked out or had a stressful day and didn’t want to cook and its okay. It all has to do with balance.

    ps – I love breakfast sandwiches and could/would eat them everyday!

  4. hungryforbalance | 18th Nov 15

    I think you should be proud of all of this! The honesty most of all. We all make choices that we’re not proud of, whether it’s in the form of food or life decisions. I know I’ve made my fair share of poor decisions regarding both. Also, pumpkin pie, no matter where it comes from is ALWAYS something to be proud of!

  5. Miss Polkadot | 18th Nov 15

    Girl, I like this SO much! All of it is proof of how far you’ve come and how confident you are not only in your food preferences but who you are as a person. Which matters a lot more than what ends up on your plate. As my recent post touched on a similar topic – but you went into it even deeper – it’s clear I wholeheartedly agree with you.

    • mylittletablespoon | 19th Nov 15

      Thank you girl. Thank you so much! So glad to have your agreement <3 <3

  6. Libby Oed | 19th Nov 15

    I love this post and can totally relate to everything you are saying in it! I am currently in recovery from an eating disorder and am wrestling with whether or not I should reintroduce eggs and dairy to my diet. A part of my hesitation is the ethics but a part is definitely that I would feel ‘not proud’. I hate to admit it but it’s true!

    • mylittletablespoon | 19th Nov 15

      Oh thank you SO much for contributing Libby! I sooooo hear you. There is something so “alluring” or attractive about keeping things out of our diets. I’m not sure I understand it, but I feel it. All I know is there I feel this new sense of attraction and pride now that I’ve started embracing all foods and being proud of them. I think it beats out the other “pride”, ten fold.

  7. Ellie | 19th Nov 15

    I sometimes am embarrassed that I still eat PB&J at least twice a day. I am sometimes embarrassed that I would rather have a sandwich than a gourmet meal. However, that makes me me. I’m learning to embrace it because it works and makes me happy 🙂

    • mylittletablespoon | 19th Nov 15

      LOVE it. “…it works and makes me happy.” That should be all that really matters shouldn’t it? Thank you so much for this. (ps I think sandwiches are officially the worlds’ best invention)

  8. chasetheredgrape | 19th Nov 15

    You should be so proud of everything you eat – you are listening to what your body actually wants and I for one know exactly how hard that can be. 🙂
    It’s taken a while but I don’t feel ashamed of anything I eat now or any of my choices – as long as it makes me and my body happy then it was obviously the right choice!

  9. apinchofpurebliss | 19th Nov 15

    This was such an honest post – heartfelt and full of emotion! Truly beautiful. I agree tremendously that we has humans feel guilty for what we eat when we see what is on others peoples plates. Whether it be healthy or unhealthy. My biggest guilt when it comes to food – well there are a lot of them – is when my family has that rare dining out/ get together. I just can’t eat out, it is the ultimate fear, so I eat a tiny something and I will sit through an hour to two hour dinner with just a glass of water. Getting side glances from those around us has made me many times want to curl under the table and hide! The food I feel most guilty about is banana’s – as i could eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, just all day every day. I hate the feeling of liking a food.

    Thanks for this wonderful post!
    -XO-

    • mylittletablespoon | 19th Nov 15

      I understand. It begins to be a double wammy in recovery as well – at least it was for me. One part of me feels guilty about eating the food, but then the other part of me (the real me) feels guilty for not eating it and being the only one not eating something. I think now I trust this guilt more than anything… I know I want to eat the same things as my family and friends and would rather feel the guilt of having eaten something scary – but knowing I did it with my friends/family – than to feel the guilt of being the outcast that everyone is staring at. Take those fears in small steps girl. Maybe plan an outing with one person close to you, and choose something relatively safe to begin with, to start fighting the challenge of simply eating out. Bananas – maybe just try 1/2 of one smushed into oatmeal or something that you enjoy? I LOVEEE bananas I put them in evvvverything 😀 <3 <#

  10. fuelforfreedom | 19th Nov 15

    Thanks for your honesty! We should never feel guilty for any food we eat. Food does not define our self-worth. That’s something I’m always working on, every single day.

    • mylittletablespoon | 19th Nov 15

      And the more we fight it each and every day, the weaker the notion will become. Thank you!!

  11. Stephanie Leduc | 19th Nov 15

    I saw nothing to feel bad about in this post, I actually ate a huge croissant for breakfast this morning that had like 300 calories and honestly, I felt kinda bad. This is refreshing to see, and you made me realise that I have no need to feel bad!!

    • mylittletablespoon | 19th Nov 15

      Well I’m so glad! Because you are right, there is just no reason to feel bad. Croissants are SO delicious. And french (and the french are some of the healthiest in the world 🙂 )

  12. Sarah @ bucketlisttummy | 21st Nov 15

    I like this is such a wonderful, refreshing post. You’re so right that we feel demonized by many food choices we make because of their perception, when in reality, they might be exactly what our body needs at that point in time. There should be no shame or feelings of guilt if you are giving your body what it wants. Sometimes you will crave a ton of fruits and veggies, but other times it will be cake or pie or god forbid, a soda! I’m about to become a Registered Dietitian and I eat all of these foods. I want to enjoy my life and the best way to do that is by honoring your body and through food. Loved this post!

    • mylittletablespoon | 21st Nov 15

      Exactly. If one day/week/month all you want is that cake or pie… there will be a time soon enough that all you want is those veggies and fruit again. Thank you SO much for this. Especially so nice to hear such words from someone who works with nutrition!

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  14. cookiesnchem | 23rd Nov 15

    Thank you for being honest. This post really spoke to me. I am the same way with lots of things, like eating dessert after 8 and sitting on my butt for the rest of the night. This was a beautiful post with great photos and lovely food 🙂

  15. Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets | 23rd Nov 15

    I don’t think there should be any shame around food. The fact that there is why we have problems. I applaud you for breaking free from societies food shackles.

    I ate an entire row of brownies just now. It was delicious and I loved every single bite. I have no remorse and I might even do it again tomorrow. Time will tell. 🙂

    • mylittletablespoon | 23rd Nov 15

      Have I told you yet you much your rock?? You are simply the best. 😀

  16. lilmissfitnessfreak | 25th Nov 15

    This was such an amazing post! I felt so connected with you words as I still struggle with being almost embarrassed by my choices sometimes. I have a hard time with fear foods and allowing myself a treat once a week because it’s as if I think that I can’t call myself a healthy person if I have one treat or food that is not really inductive to my health. I’m worried that others will frown upon me if I look forward to having ice cream a week because ‘its not clean’. “She’s a hypocrite for saying others should eat healthy when she eats like that”.

    It’s thoughts like that which make challenging those ed thoughts that much harder but you know what, being healthy is not about being a robot and eating only “clean foods” 100% of the time just to say that you don’t stray. I love my food and I love striving to give my body the best fuel I can give it, but having ice cream once a week and actually being able to look forward to it and enjoy it fully without a second thought, well that’s part of being able to live happily and …normally.

    • mylittletablespoon | 26th Nov 15

      Ah thank you SO much for coming in and sharing these wonderful words. I hear you 100%. Its rather bizarre how we can create these “images” of ourselves that are so strict – like if we stray even a little bit we are immediately a hypocrite or failure – and yet I bet nobody else has this much notice (or care) in what we do. We fear that they will judge us, when really I think it would only be ‘us’ judging us. Thank you for this motivation!

      • lilmissfitnessfreak | 26th Nov 15

        exactly no one probably puts any thought into it yet we stress so much about it. Thank you again for this enlightening post. Took the words right out of my brain 🙂

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